Real Life Adventures: Quickest Way to Train the Mind is to Train the Body – for Greater Wellness and Mastery with Cole Berschback | EP 046

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:00:06

Welcome to Mastering life's adventures, an educational podcast about tapping into your true self, the soul, your soul, the substance of your life, to discover what life's ups and downs are really about and how to have a greater sense of purpose, peace, joy, and fulfillment. I'm Dr. Judith holder and your host, Coach psychologist Delos seeker, he enjoys diving into the connections between spirituality, psychology, wellness, and your everyday life's adventures. All comparing and polishing you like the fast is a magnificent diamond to be your best self. If you're craving more from your life, you are in the right place. Come let's journey together and transforming what you know and to who you really are mastering mice adventures begins now.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:01:01

Hi, I'm back with Cole Berschback to talk further. Because we have such a delightful conversation in part one. So I invite you to go back and listen to that. This time, we're going to be talking about something that was fascinating and stood out for me, that I think is really ties into this whole notion of not only families, children, but we as seekers, as well. And as we're moving forward. And the topic is, the quickest way to train the mind is to train the body.

Cole Berschback: 00:01:32

Yes. So this is I'll share a little bit about my own experience that really shifted the way I thought about this. So I grew up as an athlete, not an overly gifted one, but as an athlete, played several sports and was always very fit. So on the last episode, I shared, you know, this circumstance I had gone through where I had a lot of injuries. And it took quite an amount of time to just be able to walk again. And so I now I had this experience where I had been an athlete, I was studying dietetics, I cared about nutrition, this was important to me. And now I was living in a body that had almost no muscular tone, had could barely walk without pain, like I had these two very different experiences inside of one year. So it was so obvious to me that this felt even after I had healed from the injuries, that being in an unfit, untrained body was not going well for my mind for my emotions, for my focus. The the not seen part of my physical self, was having a very different experience than I was used to living in. And so fast forward many years and I become a yoga instructor and learn more about like, why did the yogi's historically have this path where you did asana practice first, right, like, and a whole light bulb, right? It's like, of course, when the body is not stable, when the body is not capable of balance, when the body is not capable of flexibility or range of motion, guess what, that's the same thing that is happening in the mind. And so this lens to see the body as a way to train the mind, and I would even take it, you know, pass that as a way to train the emotions as a way to change train the energetics of the system. The body is the avenue for that as a starting point. And if it is not cared for, I mean, this is I don't want to be too harsh, but like standby, the results of that are significant. And even if they don't feel like an unclear mind, maybe they start to feel like disease. Or now I have a lung condition and I breathe really fast. And what does that doing to my mind, right like there, there's this whole spectrum of things that can happen and sometimes they're very subtle, and sometimes they're super obvious. But but the body is holding our soul it is holding our mind it is holding our energy. And if it doesn't have capacity, how can those other things have their greatest capacity and potential when the body is essentially like cut off from the rest of the system?

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:04:51

Right? It really ties into this segmentation that go on with our rearing of our lives. We think our bodies different from our mind our Mind is different from our feelings, our feelings are different from our behaviors, but it's all holistically related together and tied in to each other. And I remember when I was growing up my, my father and my, my mother would consistently say, a sound body sound mind, sound body. So they were very much passion into what you put into your mouth, comes into your body, it has an impact upon your whole energetic system. And so on keenly aware, you know, of that, even down to what you eat in terms of meats and certain types of meat. So even down to organically what you want to have, which was far beyond their time. Yeah,

Cole Berschback: 00:05:38

they were ahead of the curve.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:05:41

At that time, even to the point that they extended, you know, they did goat milk. So I very much understand that. And that's why this whole notion has fascinated me that you are so much and delved into and ingrained into the, the quickest way to train the mind is to train the body. And so yoga, which we have something in common, because I'm certified yoga instructor as well. But it's so true with that, with what's happened that we've gotten away from the understanding of the body and its importance to us, because we have an obesity epidemic for our youth. Obesity.

Cole Berschback: 00:06:17

Absolutely. And, you know, I think, you know, we talked about this a little bit on the last episode, which was that we have become so achievement oriented, and there's this really strong pull of the ego, right, and I think a lot of our society has started to treat us like we are heads on a stick figure, right, that we are a brain that then has all these tasks and all this energy to exert. And then we literally because I mean, our brains are powerful, they're incredible. But that notion that everything happens from the brain, and that that is the whole of the mind, it just misses so much that our system can offer. And so we have turned ourselves into these brain machines that are just walking around, but then we forget about the intelligence of the body. Right? I mean, even even from a physiologic perspective, the neurons of the heart, the neurons of the gut, like, our whole, the way the fascia is now being talked about as its own brain, right? I mean, our system has so much more intelligence, and the communication between the mind and the brain is or excuse me, the mind and the body is happening very regularly. But in fact, our body is giving more information to our brain than our brain is giving to our body. And so if we can, right Garner that up, bring that up to the, from the body to the mind. Now there's something totally different available there.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:08:02

How can we do that? Because I think that's the missing Allen is the how to, yeah, to have that means that one of the things we talked about last time, and last episodes, still time, stillness, silence, to help to be able to have that resonating of the frequencies that are going on, like an orchestra, the body, and instead of trying to silence it in a negative way, but how do you just be with it? When I'm curious, but are there ways in which, you know families and, and, and others can be able to? Or maybe not in families, but they are just wanting to learn how to have that connection? for themselves?

Cole Berschback: 00:08:38

Yeah. So there's a couple of things that come to mind, I think it's very easy to be jaded by the current kind of fitness culture of that is it has to be very prescriptive, prescriptive, it has to be done for certain volumes of time, it has to be done at a gym or at a studio, or, you know, there's kind of this, this whole thing that's being sold to us from the fitness industry. And I would just say, none of that has to be true. And so what might work for you, I hear all the time about how time is such a challenging constraint to then take care of the self. Okay, well, guess what, how long does it take to do 10 Push Ups not long. There's all these little ways what I would call either spot drills or stacked practices that just insert into the normal flow of the day. And it doesn't mean you have to spend 3040 52 hours you don't have to spend this specific chunk of time taking care of the body. But there's all kinds of ways to be in touch with the body to train the body in really small but meaningful increments and especially in families and I hear that that's a big thing I hear is I'm you know, out doing all these things with the kids, how do I still take time for myself? And that's a that's a huge way. The other thing in families is that the work of children Is play. So our kids are playing all of the time. And you see, and there's no I say this with zero judgment, because we're all doing the best with what we have. And sometimes when you go to the park with the kids, you actually need the five minutes to sit and answer an email or you know, whatever it might be. So there's no judgement at all. But with that said, our kids are always playing. And if we can meet them in that play, all of a sudden, we're moving our body, we're building different weird types of strength, right? Like kids are climbing on all kinds of bizarre things and running into weird places, and they're in the water, and then they're on the grass, and like, they're everywhere. So we're training our bodies really dynamically. And we're connecting at the same time, we're building bonds that are, you know, life giving for both the children and the parents. So maybe it's not that you're going to cut out a section of time where your quote unquote, working out. But can we engage in those, you know, daily play activities that feel really delicious, not just for our body, but for the whole of us? So there's lots of little ways if you love something, my goodness, if you love yoga? Oh, how do you want to experience that? Where do you want to experience it? Do you want to try it in new places? Do you want to be outside? Do you want to be with a friend? I mean, there's, if there's something you love, oh, gosh, like how do you make that even more delicious for your system and your soul so that it becomes something almost like you have to do? Not something that and I don't mean have to like, Oh, I gotta get there. I mean, like something that you're just, oh, I just can't wait to get there. If I don't do that today, my whole day is gonna feel less than it might otherwise.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:11:49

It's not wanting to do that pulls us, you know, to set a feeling that we have to do pushing us it may push us over. Yeah. And one of the qualities I think you're talking about is intentionality. So if we can be more intentional about these kinds of many ways, and I and I many ways that we can be able to engage in not only physical exercise, but also engagement with our children, that we have a twofer. It's a win win situation. 100%.

Cole Berschback: 00:12:18

Yeah, we always laugh because my husband and I, you know, end up being the parents who are on the playground, and this is different. I mean, our kids are getting a lot older, but historically speaking, we would be the parents on the playground. And not just our kids, but all of the kids would start to flock to us. Right? They want to be part of the game. What are you doing? How can Is it okay, if we play, and that's that it's so interesting, because it's not that wasn't happening until we were there. So it just goes to show how so desperate and so interested, our kids are in that kind of connection that even kids who aren't my own are, who are perfect strangers to me, are coming to me to be part of this type of very simple, very natural, very organic movement and interaction. That yeah, it doesn't look like a normal workout, but you better put your fast shoes on, like kids are gonna catch you on the playground, right? I mean, you still have to, there's a certain level of fitness that's built by engaging in those types of activities.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:13:26

Exactly. Like you're playing tag, you gotta run, you gotta go. Playing tag, but it's also a quality of innocence that children have, and they just automatically, as we talked about, energetically, are attracted to play and fun. And so if you're, as an adult playing with this, it can meet to me too, I want to do that. And isn't that a wonderful level, not only just connection, but also a wonderful way of being fully present. So sometimes that's the other missing element, because we have our electronic devices. And so we take the children to go to the playground and do what they want to do. And then we're on our electronic device, but you're saying, that's fine to a certain degree, but to our larger degree, that presence, and that being there, those are the memories that are being formed, that are so powerful for children, because they will always say, Daddy, you know, mommy, remember, we play blah, blah, blah, you know, that was fun, wasn't it? And you say, Yeah, you know, brings a smile to their face. And it again, it creates that connection, at another level of being at the emotional level, not the mental level, not just at the physical level. Right.

Cole Berschback: 00:14:38

You know, it's funny because my kids to this day, a certain song will come on the radio, and they'll be they'll always, oh my gosh, this is that song. We always dance to, you know, blah, blah, blah. And they aren't there these memories that are created that we might not see as significant, but if just hearing the tune of a song puts a smile on your kid's face, because you know, there's this other thing connected to it. That's a pretty A special thing to be able to create, and what you're saying about the intentionality of it. And that's the thing, I think that we could even if it's not, even if we're not creating some huge workout scheme, or some huge practice that we're going to create and stick to, but the intentionality of how do I want to feel in my body? How can I engage in that with my children? How? How can I start to make space for my body to feel well, even in my mind's eye? Can I start to see what it would? It? Can I put myself in a well feeling body and a body that's in perfect health? What is it in my even in my mind's eye, what does it feels like to be in that body? That's cool, right? Because now we're starting we have an image, we have something we can start walking toward, and then the intention can become even stronger. Okay, interesting. So if I know that's available, and even in my mental imagery, I can see that feeling a certain way. Hmm. Okay, now, how am I gonna get there, it's a lot easier to get there, when you have that pull toward what's available in a healthy moving, connected body.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:16:08

And, in this, we don't do enough of that, we don't do enough for ourselves, we don't need that enough for our kids, to have them to hand that imagery that you're talking about having that immaculate view about how I want to be and how that we feel great, and how it feels strong. So it gives us the incentive to continue to move forward during times for saying I don't feel like it. Yeah, I have this image. And I do want that image to happen. And so it again, it puts that whole to us, which is so important. And it's also helping children to understand the stand that is in the process of having the image and striving for something and achieving it. And if having a greatest sense of fulfillment, that greatest sense of fulfillment also helps us to have a greater sense of wellness, because we've worked on it, and we realized, this is feeling good. And it boosts us to self mastery. Yes, and

Cole Berschback: 00:17:02

the confidence that comes from it, right. But wow, I can keep doing that. And I can do that in other arenas. And at time I fell on my face, and it felt like a weird or awkward thing. But I got back up, wow, I can do that in other spaces. And, and my own experiences, the quickest way to learn that is in the body, right, because let's take a more like weight training type workout, there are parts of that, that are gonna feel super hard. You're not not every rep is going to be like, Ah, this is amazing. This is just the best thing I've ever done right? There are going to be parts of it that you can experience, like, every emotion, every mental pattern you can experience while training the body. And it happens quickly. You know, I'm in this exercise. And this thing is the thing I think about I'm in this other. Now instead of lifting weights, I'm running and Whoa, my mind does this totally other thing over here. And it's so blatantly obvious because you go from being going through your daily life to now all of a sudden I'm exerting. And there's this hyper kind of awareness that comes with that. And it's like this enormous gift. Because now I can see my mind, I can see what's happening between my ears. And I can see what's happening as different emotions arise, just because I'm using my body. And to your point about the stillness, right, if what happens to you when you're sitting and quiet is awful for you, and it doesn't feel good right away. Cool, there's some really exciting information that maybe there's maybe I need to burn off more steam, maybe I need to expend more energy or eliminate more toxins or clean up my diet so that when I do come to stillness, it's not so chaotic, my mind isn't racing, my mind doesn't know how to become more quiet. And so that whole gamut from I'm not moving to I'm really exerting every step along that way, has a different mental pattern, a different emotional state that will rise up during it. And we can then use it for how we want to train and how we want to practice various things in our lives to keep growing.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:19:25

And it's so true. And it reminds me of the quality of the soul and the soul needing guidepost along the way, the journey that they're on in sometimes by you taking either still time or you're aware that you're just kind of continuing to evolve and figure it out as you move forward. But your soul is there to trying to help you to be able to do that. And so the more that we invite ourselves and ask our intuition about what is it that I need to do or how do I need to do it today because it may be different than I did it yesterday. But I am still intentional about what I want to do and how I want to continue to To grow mentally, emotionally, so that connection that you're talking about is sometimes what has been the missing element, that the life journey that we're going on through exercise or through understanding the body and the movement that the body needs to have. It's also at the mental, emotional and spiritual and memory levels and many different levels that are happening that allows us to integrate. And in the in, in that process of integrating, we realize we have a true greater sense of wholeness, and centeredness, and balance. And that's wonderful.

Cole Berschback: 00:20:37

Oh, my gosh, powerful. Yeah. And it's really what we're all looking for. Right. And, and I can understand why we can get tripped up in any one of these realms. For instance, in the corporate kind of business world space, which I spend quite a bit of time in those, there's so much focus on the mental capacity, that there's all these ways to train the mind all these ways to train the mindset all in, it becomes this very kind of laser focused. And, and I can see how we get caught in the weeds of that, because there are so many things, if you just are just quote unquote, training mindset, that you could be doing so many things. But when you come back to the body, the body has all of this information, it is the house of all these things that are happening. And so when we use the body as a training mechanism, the training of the mindset, it feels easier, because it's more specific. If we see what happens to the mind when something is hard, for instance, and when we're moving our body. Now all of a sudden, I know is it my pattern of thinking? Is it that I have really negative language that I use toward myself is there like, like, the specific thing we have to train becomes very, very obvious. And then, okay, now we're using our body to train our physical state and all of these things. But now we're allowing it to simplify the way we train the whole rest of our system, because it becomes hyper specific to what is actually happening for you, right now, instead of this incredible number of things you could be doing to train any one aspect of yourself, but maybe it's not even going to hit the mark, because that's not the thing that's really coming up for you consistently. So the body, just Gosh, it just Poom highlight, highlight, highlight in all these different areas. And it just simplifies everything, because now I'm doing this to train my mindset. And now I'm doing this to train the emotion that keeps popping up, and I don't want to deal with and now it's just oh, okay, great, I'm doing the thing that I actually need to keep moving forward, instead of this gamut of things that honestly is impossible to keep up with, we can't do every practice under the sun to train our spirit to train our mind to train our body, like we can't do all of it. So how do we start to narrow it, so that it's specific and useful to us, and the body is a really good way to get to those specifics.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:23:10

It's like the, and I think you alluded to it earlier to the innate intelligence of the body. And I think sometimes with the innate intelligence, I sometimes talk to my, uh, my coaching clients about is that the body has an innate intelligence. And what we're learning to do is to understand the innate intelligence of the body, and it's speaking German, you speak English. And you're learning German. So as you learn the German or the French, or you know, whatever language you're learning the language of the body is now in many different frequencies that is showing yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically, all these different levels, that it's allowing you to be able to say, Oh, my God, it because the intellectual mind will always say, I know what it is. I know we need to do we just need to do this over here. No, but that's the you learn the German of the body. Yeah.

Cole Berschback: 00:24:03

Well, and I think something and this is my own experience. I don't have a lot of context to expand this to. But my own experience is that the language of the body is not spoken. We don't understand the language of the body in words that our brain takes and makes meaning of the language of the body is an understanding. It's a knowingness, and it's almost it almost becomes something we don't have to quote unquote, think about. It is just understood. And I think for a lot of people that's really hard to grasp, because we're so attached to the mental models and the language of the mind. And our mind is responsible for making meaning I can understand why we get, you know, really attached to the brain has to know something about this. But the intelligence of the body doesn't speak like that. And so we have to kind of get comfortable with like, oh, there's something I just move in a different way. toward this thing, interesting, it doesn't have to have a meaning that everything has to have this language that's understood by the mind.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:25:08

That's another way of thinking about that. I was thinking about one of the qualities of the body talks like an orchestra and different frequencies. And those frequencies, we label it as different languages, but it's different frequencies, different vibrations. And it's also a quality of you have felt sensations. We don't know what they mean or what they are. But if we're intuitive, and we understand, and to, it's timeless that you're talking about earlier, and also become more aware of the fact that the soul knows, yeah, and as we keep into our soul, we just as you say, and naturally move in a certain direction that we need to move in, do what we need to do. Because we're more willing to sit sometimes with things just like in as you practice yoga, you're saying earlier, and you may practice meditation, you even if it's just a five minute meditation, you're just sitting, because it's helping to settle yourself into yourself into the body and not being afraid of it. And I think some people are afraid of their bodies.

Cole Berschback: 00:26:21

Well, and we've been so deeply taught to disconnect from them, right? I mean, even let's take somebody who's like an elite athlete, you might think that that person is hyper connected to their body, because it moves really well. It has all these dynamics that it can position itself in and, you know, power and endurance and all these things. But a lot of those people have been taught that you don't feel pain. Oh, well, that's interesting. What do you mean, you play on sprain and broken and whatever, whatever, whatever? Well, that is just a learning of disconnecting from the body. So this is this is taught across the spectrum from people who are actually very disconnected from their body, because they're, you know, hyper attuned to the mind and don't spend a lot of time moving and those types of things. That's one end of the spectrum, but all the way on the other end of the spectrum, where you have hyper trained, hyper physical people, and they're taught to disconnect from their bodies, too. So we have to be sensitive as we start to train our system, that if we have, let's say, you haven't felt the bottoms of your feet, like you can't remember a time where you felt the bottom of your feet. Okay, well, it's going to take some time to feel okay, putting your attention in the bottom of your feet, which for some people listening that might be like, Oh, not that big of a deal. But if your system has been very disconnected from the body, that is going to take some time, and it's going to be uncomfortable. And I'm also kind of, as a caveat, really sensitive to, for people who have experienced, especially in their young life, a lot of trauma, that is a survival mechanism to cut the the mind and system off from the body. And so I'm super sensitive to that, that there could be a lot of reasons that the body is disconnected. And they're not all frivolous. And they're not all just going to change because I decided to go do a yoga practice. So there's a lot of reasons were disconnected. But if we can start to rebuild that connection, we don't want the body to be storing pain, we don't want the body to be storing you know, something less than what we really are, we want the body to be an expression of the fullness that we have in our bigger, broader system.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:28:45

Right? And initiations are on pain, pain and trauma. Sometimes you have to be sensitive, the fact that my we don't have that sensitivity towards our soul, because of that disconnection, that that happens. And so we are, what you're talking about is having an attunement with the fact that it's got this process and one step at a time. So wherever the person is at eat, wherever the seeker is, that is like, where do I want to begin with some of the things that we're talking about? Because one of the things with pain and trauma, it creates static, and so it kind of that static mess of things. We don't know, we can't see our fog. So we can't, you know, see through the fog, but by doing the small acts of kindness toward itself, and being more attune, you know, to some of the things that you've been talking about. It helps to reduce that thought, reduce that static, allow us to see a greater sense of mindfulness or fullness or centeredness that we're seeking. And so you've been talking about little how tos, you know, to be able to make that happen for ourselves. Under the auspices of there's many different things will get us disconnected about ourselves. And, and that's okay and not to to look at it from the standpoint of that's bad or that's good. No, it's actually looking from the point of its awareness. I'm the only that awareness what I want to do about it.

Cole Berschback: 00:30:14

Yeah. And that's freedom, right? That's when you get to make the choice instead of just I have to, and my system only knows this thing. Anytime, yeah, anytime we get to make a choice based on awareness that becomes a superpower. And that's a fun thing to see people come into, it feels very liberating and exciting to be in a space where I have enough awareness about my body, about my mind about any one thing that's happening. But now I get to make a choice about it. And that's where that curiosity piece comes back in, right? Because the way we can communicate Kate that, let's say in our family, is that those are the words we can use, right? So that our kids hear us, like, oh, isn't that interesting? I'll use a really simple example. Like, so interesting. My left hip just really hurts today. I wonder whathat could be about?

Cole Berschback: 00:31:08

It's like the simplest. Not because all my hip hurts like, Oh, what did I do? Something must be wrong with it. Right? But like, Oh, interesting. I have a different sensation in my hip today. I wonder what that could mean? Something as simple as that, right? Like, now there's a choice? Do I? Do I like this sensation? Does it feel good? Is it there? Because I trained hard? Is it there? Because I've been working on gaining strength in my left hip? Or is there something that does feel uncomfortable, and that discomfort is actually going to give me a piece of information that allows me to walk towards something different? And so yeah, there's lots of ways we can keep these little nuances alive so that our kids get to learn how to have that choice and awareness

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:31:53

as well. Yeah, and helping them to understand in which you've said so wonderfully before it's curiosity. Yeah, and helping to keep the curiosity of mine. And it's also by the mere fact that we talk to ourselves, we're expecting a response. Yes, a good thing. Won't give us a response if we kind of keep ourselves open to that. And I say, was because of what you did that and I know, because of, you know, we need to do more about it. But that listening grace that we find ourselves, it is a wonderful thing for our kids to learn how to do. Yes.

Cole Berschback: 00:32:33

Gifted parenting?

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:32:36

Yes. And which is a row, I think families have a wonderful opportunity of helping their children as well as themselves as parents, with mastery. Getting back to that word, mastery in this in this light, we're talking about the wellness, but also underneath that is that the quickest way to train the mind is to train the body. Yeah, almost coming together.

Cole Berschback: 00:32:58

Yes. One one whole being. And yeah, that's like, just one more thing that kind of comes to mind, as you say that it's like, okay, if the body is this is this hyper useful thing to see the mind to see the emotions to see the things that are happening in my system, something even simpler that we can use in the physical body is breath. If you want to change your state, if you want to see what's happening in your mind, simply taking one deep breath is like shining a light on what is happening. And so to kind of the earlier point, like how do you start to make these things happen? Do you want to start a workout? Awesome? Do you want to take on a particular practice, beautiful, but let your kids let the people around, you start seeing you take one deep breath when you're not sure the next move, right. And that is a physical practice, that informs the mind that informs the motions that heightens awareness, right. So it doesn't have to be some huge, vast thing. Even a few deep breaths are going to be a physical experience that offers insight to the mind.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:34:03

Excellent. That's so true. It's these many, many things we do that took us now second to do. That can be so powerful.

Cole Berschback: 00:34:14

100% Yes. If you

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:34:15

were to want to leave our seekers with a statement or a comment or additional Pearl of Wisdom, what would that be?

Cole Berschback: 00:34:24

I think it would be spine the thing that you can start today. If with this awareness that the way to train our whole system can come from starting to train the body, if that's a new awareness or a heightened awareness. What's the small thing that then starts now? If it's a deep breath? Is it feeling your feet? I mean, there's all these little ways is it doing 10 Push Ups between meetings? I mean, there's a lot of ways to start connecting to the body. So with this awareness with this perspective, what is the one thing you would do today that starts to connect you more equally to the body.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:35:01

Excellent call. And I'd invite our speakers to think about that and engage in it. Yeah. And notice what happens in your body and start being curious about it. Yeah, thank you so much for joining me on this segment of part two. In this whole issue of the quickest way to train the mind is to train the body. And for our speakers, what are you going to do next? And you can reach Cole at the total potential.com