Episode 59

Mastering Life’s Living Adventures: The Power of Femininity with Guest Luisa Valentin | EP 059

Luisa Valentin is back to discuss The Power of Femininity with Dr. Judith. She shares her thoughts on the beauty of femininity, the concept, and its characteristics, as Dr. Judith comments from the soul perspective on the concept of “strength with softness.” They also discuss quality vs. equality, trauma, confidence, the veil of forgetfulness, and being that divine feminine being.

About the Guest:

Louisa Valentin, owner of Louisa Valentin LLC, is a certified Empowerment Wellness Coach, a BSN Registered Nurse, a cofounder of a nonprofit, aimed at healing and spirituality as well as a fitness enthusiast.

Louisa empowers women to discover their strength to achieve their optimal state of mental, physical, and spiritual health, by enabling them to prioritize themselves, create real lifestyle changes to have lasting transformations and change the world’s perception of who they are.

Louisa thrives on helping women overcome their barriers of negative self-talk and lack of prioritizing self, to become the healthiest version of themselves.

https://www.facebook.com/CoachingWithLouisa/

Twitter: coachingwLouisa

Instagram: coaching_with_Louisa

https://www.linkedin.com/in/coachingwithlouisa/

About the Host:

Dr. Judith Holder’s passion is empowering people to be their best selves! Dr. Holder is the founder and executive director of Unique Pathways™ (www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com). She is a leadership coach-psychologist, facilitator, consultant, and author.

Our paths are filled with many adventures in which Judith believes can be seen as growth opportunities, even during challenging times. She likes to think about, discover, and discuss personal and professional life’s circumstances as you journey through life, through the lens of Christian values, Buddhist precepts, Ascended Master teachings and Esoteric Principles to gain greater clarity and mastery in daily living. 

Dr. Holder is the author of Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam – Essential Insights for Growth and Self-Mastery, and an e-book, Opening Up to Your Divinity: Practical Strategies and Practices for Soul Growth

On a personal note, Dr. Holder sees herself as a perpetual student/seeker learning from her everyday adventures, which she considers as a part her ongoing growth and evolution of her SOUL. The fun part is we are all walking similar journeys together!

Judith enjoys spending time with family, vacationing at beaches and mountains sides, reading, walking, partaking in mindfulness practices, and is a certified yoga instructor.

 

Dr. Holder’s books on Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam and Opening Up to Your Divinity: Practical Strategies and Practices for Soul Growth can be found at -

https://www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com/services/spiritual-inquisitiveness/

 

Mastering Life’s Adventures “How to” Downloadable Courses at www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com under the Tab “Offerings”

  • Course 1: Mastering Life’s Adventures mini-course
  • Course 2: Opening Up to Your Divinity mini-course

 

Learn more about “Mental Fitness for Busy People”, at www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com under the Tab, “Offerings”

 

You can also check out Dr. Holder’s at

LinkedIn page: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judith-c-holder-phd-ms-pcc-bcc-a1a4a57/

Executive and Leadership Coaching website: www.uniquepathwayscoaching.com

Speaking Engagements (for Women New to Leading): www.drjudithholder.com

 

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Transcript
Speaker:

Dr. Judith Holder: Welcome to Mastering life's adventures, an educational podcast about tapping into your true self, the soul, your soul, the substance of your life, to discover what life's ups and downs are really about, and how to have a greater sense of purpose, peace, joy, and fulfillment. I'm Dr. Judith holder and your host, Coach psychologist Delos seeker, he enjoys diving into the connections between spirituality, psychology, wellness, and your everyday life's adventures. All comparing and polishing you like the fast is a magnificent diamond to be your best self. If you're craving more from your life, you are in the right place. Come let's journey together and transforming what you know. And to who you really are mastering mice adventures begins now.

Speaker:

Hi, I'm back with Luisa. And she's gonna share a little bit better. So this is part two on a area that we want to talk about something more, and from the people pleasing, which you'll hear in part one. And listen to that was a great discussion. And this part, we're going to really be talking in part two, about the power of femininity, the power of femininity. And what does that mean? What does that look like for the soul perspective? What does that look like living of life itself? So Luisa, why don't you introduce yourself and let us kind of dive in?

Luisa Valentin:

Sure. Thank you so much, again, for having me. It's always a pleasure. But those who haven't heard the first part, I'm Luisa Valentin and empowerment wellness coach, I'm also a registered nurse, and I work with women to transform their lives to become the healthiest versions of them, and just really create long standing transformations versus short term results. And with femininity, it's so powerful to embrace who we are as women, because there are people that think, oh, being feminine just means soft, and allowing yourself to sit in the background or are just mother others. And it can be so much more than that. And so go even along with people pleasing, a lot of people think femininity is a part of that you if to be feminine, you have to people, please, you have to just nurture and do everything for everyone else. And that it's not really about us and who we are as women, as this divine creature that has been created to be here and find balance with our masculine counterparts.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Yes. And at the soul level, we don't realize that the soul, rather, in a masculine or a female feminine body is actually more feminine in nature. It's the omega, and they're talking about the Alpha Omega components and the Omega components that we all have. And we all have a percentage of this quality that is within us that is wanting to be acknowledged through the Soul, and also evolve through the soul. And so the femininity is a wonderful area for us to talk about and explore based upon your own personal experiences and also about how you'd like to work with individuals as well. So tell me more about, you know, how you're embracing more of the femininity and how that came about.

Luisa Valentin:

So when I was first starting my career, I thought I had to be this ultra assertive in charge type of person. And if I was soft, then people wouldn't respect me, or I wouldn't be able to achieve very much because that's not part of being a quote unquote woman. So I put all the softness behind me. And I thought, okay, that this can't be a part of my life, except maybe in a romantic relationship. And everywhere else I had to be hard and tough and put up this persona and it kind of goes Around the time that I switched over from being a people pleaser, where I thought, okay, if I'm not going to be this way, I have to now be this way. And while my people pleasing journey was an increments, as I continued to evolve, I thought, all right, let me show how strong I am, how strong my voices and everything that I can do in that sense, although I was doing more for myself, but I was still doing a lot of doing, and not completely just being an accepting.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Yeah, when you were, you're talking about this, I think of the pendulum swing from soft to heart, you know, it's kind of swinging back and forth. The visual is, and what the soul actually wants us to be is strength in softness wants it to be strong. But we also have the soft quality to us. So it shows up differently, then this pendulum of being too soft, which is the people pleasing, you know, or too hard, which ends up being this kind of aggressiveness that, you know, shows up sometimes with women in workplaces and thinking that they need to be that way, like you're talking about here. But this quality of strength and softness, what do you think about that?

Luisa Valentin:

I think that's a perfect analogy, because we often try to swing too hard on that pendulum. And once we find that balance, we can find our happy place where it just becomes authentically us. And we're not trying to be any one way or the other. We're just being who we are. And not all women are extreme feminine beings, just like not all men are extreme masculine beings, we all do have that within us. And there is a time where we have to pull from one of those aspects a little bit more. But it shouldn't be to the point where it's overpowering US as a whole. And we're just creating a false image. So again, help the masses think we are who we are supposed to be.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Yeah, it's like this persona, that we have to be aware of the you know, the persona, which just gets back to what I talked about in, in our first part one is the ego persona. And so the the eagle is, you know, always trying to have this false image, as you're talking about this false aspect of ourselves, this synthetic self, of who we are, but it's not the true or the real, of who we really are. That does require some silence and quietness and exploration, being out in nature, or being able to take meditative time. And we talked about in part one, it does we kind of those things, but when we get that centeredness within us, then we feel that quality of strength is like, you know, exercising that muscle, but his strength was softness, and how we deliver information, how we communicate, how we look at things. So the lens by which we see in life by and it's not in this pendulum format that goes on.

Luisa Valentin:

No, then then we become in flow. And we are able to really see what we are capable of. Because even as the feminine and we talk about being soft think of Mother Nature. Yes, she gives us the soft breezes, but she can also create these hurricanes, these tornadoes. And it's about knowing that that is both within us the soft and that power, but it doesn't just have to be destructive in one way or another. Because when we are too soft in our feminine, that's again where we allow for that people pleasing. And if we're too aggressive, even in that femininity. We can become the shrew that hag the nagger. And it's all about what I want and I need it now. When it doesn't need to be that way. We can find that internal balance where we're flowing. Were moving towards things we enjoy, we're still able to do the things that need to get done. But it's just in a different sense.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Wow, that was very nicely said, it is totally, it's like a different frequency we rise to in everything's vibration, everything we see around us is vibration. And so when we have an opportunity to be in flow, that flow moves us into a higher frequency or vibration that allows us to see things and do things from a different standpoint, than if we were at a lower frequency. He's like, you take the high road, I take the low road, well, we want to take the high road in frequency in order to continue to go and move on, because that is a subtleness of the soul. And the souls awareness is that as you rise in frequency, you rise with like a lightness of energy, you know, an awareness that there's purity, you know, in what is femininity, there's a lot of purity that happens there, if we are willing to understand and explore this feminine aspect of who we really are, and not shut it down, or go to the extreme about it. That's not the soul does not like, the extremes, the soul likes the Middle Way, the middle road, you know, of awareness. And that's that middle road is that balance, that rare model I'm traveling on and moving on. And so when a curve comes our way, we're able to balance that curve and move around that curve, very in a flowing way that helps us in understanding that this person and what they say to us, we can be very aggressive and say something very negative, you know, and painfully back. Or we can be able to check ourselves and say, Okay, listen, what do I need to say here? And suddenly, all we need to say to is, that was inappropriate? That was not the helpful thing to say in this moment. And, you know, what, can we can talk later, I'm like, I don't want to talk right now about it, because I just need to kind of think about what just happened here, and then move forward with going into yourself and asking yourself, what's going on? How can I need to what I need to do here, what I need to say to this person to help them to understand their impact that they have on me. So then that is usually your femininity, and a sensitive, but in a strong way that doesn't allow you to feel shut down, or that your voice is not going to be heard at all.

Luisa Valentin:

Yes, exactly. Because when you are embracing that, we're always told, feminine beings are emotional. And you know what, that's okay? That we embrace those emotions, and we work with them instead of trying to shut them down. Because when we're doing that, when we're trying to go into the masculine of the logical side, we don't feel heard. We feel crushed in that way. And if you allow those emotions and say, like you said, That was inappropriate. And I like to ask questions, and I do this while in my feminine sense by saying, what were you trying to gain by saying, or doing that from the situation, when I am feeling hurt, instead of you hurt me, and you did this wrong. And now we're just going to have a full on argument. But no, I'm gonna open to be receptive. Because I think again, with the flow and the femininity, being receptive, being open, and allowing those emotions to exist, and working with them, helps to create that flow. And even with what you were saying about raising our vibration, because we are in that higher vibration, because we are flowing, it gives even the universe the space to bring the people and events that we need or that we want in our lives, because we are in balanced with them. We get out of that low frequency where all of these negative things are happening to us are coming our way. We can allow for the graciousness that we are looking for that we want to experience.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Yes, I love that word graciousness and gratitude and being of grace, all qualities of that femininity that are wonderful and actually very, very strong. Do you look at nature, but you bring up that analogy before we feed them see the beauty of nature through the blossoming of the trees and of the flowers, you see their strength and how it has to shoot through the ground and come up to be a flower. And so there is the another perspective about the femininity is that embracing quality is so powerful and so needed, and then what we're learning as being females and who we really are, is mastery over our emotions to just because we feel it does meaning we have to do it. Just because we feel it doesn't mean that we have to say it. It just means we realize this is triggering something within me. Okay, what do I want to do about it? And then the mastery, especially in relationships, that we do have personal relationships, as well as professional. But when then it's like, how do I want to act that honors my soul? That's what we're kind of keeping focused around. How do I want to be? And how do I want to express this that honors my soul? And also making sure I'm saying what I need to say. Yeah, takes that takes practice.

Luisa Valentin:

Oh, Lord, does it take practice? But yes, exactly. It's not just reacting. Because again, that's more of that masculine trait to just react, we're allowed to feel. But now what are we going to do with these feelings? As you say, how are we going to master them? And we have to first acknowledge them, we have to give them the respect that they deserve, there is a reason now, what is that reason? Is it truly this person that is triggering or this situation? Or is there something deeper, deeper for us to analyze and reflect on because that is something also very feminine quality reflection, seeing how the world is through our own vision? We don't have to just allow others to push their perspective on us.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Yeah, yeah, reflection is a very good quality. And I think sometimes in relationships, we men are teaching us something, and we're teaching them something. And so in some ways, we are teaching them how to be flagged and being more in tune with their feelings. And they're teaching us how to be more active, and take action when we need to take action, as opposed to being reticent and not wanting to say, Well, I'm not quite sure, or this is awkward, or whatever. So there's certain things that each each man and woman can teach each other that is honoring, and that his his quality that you mentioned in our previous conversation of equality versus e quality, sure more about that?

Luisa Valentin:

Sure. Again, with that balance and learning one another and learning from one another, we go into this space of feminism, per se, where it's about social equality, justice, and everything should be equal. And while there is no equality in that, we're not equal, we're not the same, we have different purposes, we have to balance one another out. And that's why do we make these connections. That's why we have these soul connections. And while we're using masculine and feminine in the man, woman sense, there's different aspects and different people. So I'm just using that for simplicity sake. But there's certain things that men are just more capable of doing. And things that are women in general are more capable of doing. And if we can't feed off of one another, and what the other offers and be able to accept that, then all we have is turmoil. All we have is conflict, because then we become in a place where we're just fighting one another, and fighting our natures and fighting each other's natures. Because, oh, I can't just be soft and accepting of you because you're a man trying to boss me around. But maybe there's some men that are trying to be that protector and that leader, and the woman, if she's open, can get what she needs out of that relationship where she can also nurture him but it nurtures the dynamic of the relationship where she can create her home and space. Instead of just saying I don't need a man in my life or I don't need a woman What is she bringing to the table? Like all of that conversation is really inefficient to having productive relationships.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Yeah, if you want to make another comment, in one of the things that when you were saying that I was thinking about the soul, when we are born, before we even born, there's a monad you On the moon, that split splits to kind of in spiritual sense in terms of the masculine or feminine, but there's a same of that same egg of that same on monad, that's taken place. And so when that splitting has, you can have what is called that twin flame that's similar to your desire and their desires are similar to each other. And that evolves us into now being in certain bodies, in order for us to be able to have certain experiences that like wants us to have. Because it says that, I think when we come into environment, we've made a contract. And we say, we're going to do certain things, meet certain people, learn certain lessons, make certain decisions that can move us forward in our soul evolution. And so when it comes back to the turmoil that happens is sometimes we get confused, in terms of what we said, originally, you know, where we are in spirit world. We've got, you know, what we said, we're gonna do and we get mixed up and turned around, and Mike, who's going to be one who's gonna be bossing up, whoever, but it's like, what is my role? How do I get more in tune to what my soul evolutionary pathway is, which is different from my ego, which we kick on, keep on going back to my ego, my ego may saying may not be what my soul is needing. And so we have to take it look at small slower, and get more in tune to in this conversation that we're having today about our femininity, and being aware of the fact that there are different layers of what this person that's being brought into our life, and how we want to show up in that and femininity, as it looks to this issue that you said earlier about equality. You know, we want to have equality in our interactions with each other. And that means we have to get out of this issue of deficit, that somehow being female is deficit somehow being now is a deficit. Now, there's no deficit in God's kingdom. And in God's world, there's actually lessons to be learned to our experiences. Is this making sense? Or is it kind of clouding things in terms of what you're trying to say?

Luisa Valentin:

No, no, no, it's absolutely perfect. And it's true. Because when we're just stuck in that space of, I have to be the higher power and the male and female and people think back to religion with Adam and Eve, and how she came from his ribs. So there's women who don't want to accept anything less from a man because they believe there's already this quality of, I'm thought to be beneath him. And then there's these men who also think, Okay, I have to be in the power because that is where I belong. And it's not, it's not supposed to be a power struggle. And I do feel a lot of that happens because of trauma responses from both the masculine and the feminine, where you tried to rebel against your nature, and it causes that conflict, instead of that harmony, that you're talking about with that, that twin piece, and those lessons that we are meant to learn by having these relationships that we you know, the veil of forgetfulness has made us not remember what exactly we agreed to, and what we are meant to do here in this world, together, and apart. But I feel like we're so much stronger, when we're together, we are stronger as that unit of getting that whole spear, as we could say, with that masculine and feminine energy, the sun is seen as masculine, the moon is seen as feminine. Without the both of them, what do we have?

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Right, like the day and the night, they swing into each other, and, you know, and circle, you know, around in terms of 24 hours and type of action that occurs. And also I think, with the quality is, and you know, thinking out loud with this, because of you had said about Adam and Eve and you know, and everyone has this appropriate placing in hierarchy itself. But even in the hierarchy of things, there is equality. And so I think that's sometimes where we can be missed because of the hierarchy that I think is one the woman, the man and God, you know, and so they say, Well, that's the hierarchy. So it just needs to be that way. That's the kind of the letter of the law, where as there's the spirit of the law, it ultimately we're all equal because Adam came from me. The child came from the woman. And so there's power in her role that she did. have justice there's power in man's role and what he is supposed to be on the earth to do. And each one has to kind of be aware of like you talked about earlier, this veil of forgetfulness that we forget what it is, and what we have to be able to have quiet time and start to learn about what is my mission? What is my purpose? What is it that I'm meant to do here on this planet, in order to greet give greater service or bring greater light, or bring a particular creativity or invention or whatever it may be, or whatever it may be. But we get too locked into sometimes this external focus on gender only. But that's not what God wants us to be able to do to focus only on, he wants to focus on the totality of who we are. And also, what are those life lessons that need to be learned, that you said you would do when you're in the heaven world that you just forgot, and you have to learn how to remember?

Luisa Valentin:

Yeah, and the quality of these relationships, if you're more focused on that, versus Okay, we just have to be equal beings. And that means I have to do this, and you have to do that. So that we can have a whole it's, it's just not like that. It's what you are creating together. And sometimes that means in one aspect, okay, this is where I'm giving, this is what I have for this situation, whether it's in the home, or with the children, or even just embracing your, your pleasure, your sensuality, as a woman, because there is still the power in that and not to be overly sexualized. But owning your sensuality, owning your pleasure is power. Because you're you don't look for that from your counterpart. But it helps to attract the and that's with the power, not with just, I have to dress sexy and look a certain way. It's, I feel good in my skin. And that exudes this confidence, this power, this substance that can bring that partner to you.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Yeah, I like the fact that you said because it does get back to part one that we're talking about feeling, and the empowerment of feeling, feeling who you are not just kind of dressing the part of who you are. In that femininity is more expansive than just the physical aspects of who we are. But it's the mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of who we are, and what the quality of the femininity is unique. Like there's not a snowflake, you know that snowflakes are not alike. There's inequality that is brought to that snowflake that we bring to life and life experiences and have a different lens by which we see things by. And just because our lens that we're seeing things by is different. It doesn't mean it's deficit, as I said earlier, it just means is different. And just as He sees things from a different lens is different. And that's okay, and how do we find ways to co create things which are mentioned before people interact with each other in a way that creates that sense of harmony and balance. And that's what the soul wants. The soul wants to learn lessons from if you're in a relationship, be it personal or professional, it wants to learn from those experiences, and start to feel that greater sense of growth and advancement, you know, in evolution, and realizing I'm learning a lot from this, even those experiences or those personal relationships that we went through that we say, Oh my God, how they end up here with this particular person or that particular person or that particular situation, to to grow from them. Did you check in with yourself to say, what are we learning from these experiences? How do we advance from the experiences, because sometimes some experiences we do have, as you said earlier, are traumatic, that may happen to us. But there's a healing process that we can go to, to, to move through that in order to get the silver lining out of that dark cloud. And it takes a process. I'm not going to say that it is and but we're still on the path of understanding who we are, and how we're continuing to uphold that feminine aspect of who we are. Share your thoughts about that.

Luisa Valentin:

Yeah, and it's very true and it's so enlightening when you're able to make those connections and just bring that forth within yourself because women, we are the creators. We are the wounds of the world. And when you realize this, and you're able to take that aspect, and find the power and the safety in that, you can bring out so much more in your masculine counterpart. And again, it's about working together. And creating, we can co create, but the creation starts with us. It starts with the feminine, and then the masculine is able to join in with that. And that's how we get that growth. That's how we're able to ascend to that place and learn those lessons, even as we fruit have forgotten our heavens promises that we've made. We just have to again, be open and in flow and ready to, to evolve and learn from each other from ourselves from our situations, as you have mentioned.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Yeah, and I think the the part that you said about the connection and co creation, and I think there's some powerfulness, that goes on with the co creation that women do have with having more of the feminine qualities to them, they're all have feminine and masculine qualities that are within us. You know, it's just a balancing act. And so we're having more so female females being born in the physical form, this physical form, we are more feminine, and our interactions, and we're learning what it is to be feminine. And we're learning is how to use that co creative power that exists between the creator and ourselves, and also the CO creator. In the physical world, with a partner, if we have a partner, or friend, by yourself single, you still have the ability to do the co creation, and feel a greater sense of wholeness and balance and completeness and ourselves. And if we're always looking for someone else to complete us and make us whole and complete, then that's when we fall off the turnip truck. And roll not realizing that we have a guy has given us the both Alpha Omega energy within us we just have more feminine energy within us. And therefore how do we hold that, that God has given to us in a way that honors our soul, and advanced the soul lessons that we're here to learn?

Luisa Valentin:

Yeah, and like you said, we don't have to have that partner or that space, because we can do it within ourselves, we just have to be ready to do it our way and the way that comes natural to us. And again, that means that masculine piece of us will also evolve and also be a part of the journey. And it's not about putting out that flame. Because Oh no, we're afraid to be that piece. It's about nurturing it. While we nurture ourselves, while we nurture the things that we are creating, whether we are doing that with a partner with a job with an opportunity, or even with a friend. It's what can we create, what can we build? How can we show the world our passion because we are passionate beings, and we can pull that out of ourselves. And that's what shows our light. That's where our inner light comes from. When that passion starts to exude from us. That's when we have the most power to create whatever it is we are trying to do in this world.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: And it does tie back back into very nicely said into embracing our femininity. And that kind of pushing it away and seeing the goodness and the qualities and the gifts that are given to us in our femininity that we do have. And it means sometimes being able to be more discerning about what we hear what people share what's going on around us and just saying to our own inner self in that discerning way. What do you think, to our inner soul? Because our soul is saying I think we need to just not do anything right now with that or just be quiet or you need to say something?

Luisa Valentin:

Definitely, definitely and again, that's where that receptiveness comes in and listening to that intuition because our body speaks. Our soul speaks to us. So sometimes it is about taking a moment to realize okay, do I need to say anything? Is it is it going to make me feel better because we are feeling better? things is, is the long outcome going to be had by me doing something right now? Or do I need to take that moment and wait and evaluate and reflect on the situation, or possibly end up saying those hurtful harsh things that we don't really feel. But we are in that moment, just reacting. And sometimes we do want to react, sometimes we do want to say those harsh things, and they are necessary. And that's okay to, it's just about embracing the fact that they are our feelings, and they deserve that acknowledgement. But own it, don't give your power away by saying, you do this. And now I have to react this way, I have to have these emotions, like, no, they're yours, someone else may not feel the same way with that same situation. So owning that, and just coming to terms with it can give you power in and of itself, by being able to do even that.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Yeah, I love what you're saying about owning your own feelings, and not thinking that someone made me do it. You know, we can have very strong feelings. And one of the things we're learning is learning. As we said, previously, we're learning to master those feelings, knowing that they're triggering something within us. Because at some level, we have to ask ourselves, this is what the soul does. The soul says, we prefer that you ask, What's the motive for me saying what I'm saying? Because the soul says that was not a good mode of why you said that it gives too much anger, too much frustration, too much whatever. You can say something, you know, with a different mode of just saying, well in the motion comes up still within you. But you realize, I need to say this because this person will continue to believe in a certain way that is not true. And I have to have a measured way that I want to say it and affirm way go back to what we're talking about strength and softness, you know, in a firm way to help this person to understand that this is not right. This is not something that I'm going to honor or uphold that any particular way, because it crosses someone's line in some particular way. So yes, we put some emotion to it. But we understand that we have that strength and power BI which were saying, but as softness behind you, because we're not trying to inflict pain. Sometimes when we say things, we want to inflict the pain that the pain, they tend to us we want to inflict on Tom Calm down, we realize no, I'm not doing it from that perspective. I'm doing it because you need to hear this. Otherwise, if you don't, you'll continue to harm me or hinder me in some particular ways that is not honoring my soul, and not honoring this relationship, be it personal or professional. That's taking place.

Luisa Valentin:

Yes. And it goes along with what you were saying before about the soul being more of a feminine aspect of us. And the soul knows the soul knows how to nurture us. And as we use our voices without being harsh, we often get so much better results. Because people what happens usually people go in defense mode if you go and just what you're attacking them. Yes, exactly. And then nothing is heard. Then it the conflict continues. But when you're able to put it in a way that speaks to their soul, potentially, whether romantic or work or otherwise, there can be resolution there. And sometimes that resolution is just taking some space away from the situation, so that we can both evaluate and figure out and not feel like we have to attack one another or constantly defend ourselves against an attack.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Yes, yes, exactly. Because the soul ultimately, sinker weirdly, in terms of not being involved in a relationship, or you're involved in a relationship wants harmony, and harmony and peace. And it wants to be able to be heard and listened to. And it wants to be able to continue to grow. So just because we fell down or we didn't say it right, or we didn't do it right or whatever. We don't want to just say no, that's it. I'm not going to be involved in that relationship anymore. Let's say try it. Again. It's called self mastery. Keep on trying, and you gain the mastery until your inner self says no, this is enough of this. This is not moving in any particular way. This is not an in alignment with what my soul is needing at this point in time. And so then we have to make some choices and decisions in our life. But ultimately, we're still moving into understanding that each experience that we're going through Do we really come walking a spiritual path? Is this empowerment of the feminine aspect of who we are? As we're having this conversation? Does that make sense?

Luisa Valentin:

Yeah, it definitely does. Because we do want to evolve, and like you were saying with the alignment, that's what's gonna bring us to this highest vibration of joy and acceptance and pleasure. And that's a big part of it. And just finding that love within ourselves, so that we can continue to give that to others and share our love with them, while also being receptive and open. And that harmony, that harmony that we are looking for, we have to find it within ourselves first. If it's not there, we're not going to be able to be that Divine Feminine being because we're at battle. On the inside, we're fighting our souls purpose, our souls journey. And therefore, that comes out into all of your relationships, all of your interactions, all of your reactions, any motions and everything else.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Wow. So wonderfully said. Very nicely said. It's, I love the aspect that ultimately what the femininity has great quality to offer, in its unique way is love. Love is nurturing. Love is compassion. Love is kindness. Love is sternness firmness, like you talked about Mother Nature. Know, that sometimes Mother Nature will give you a licking, you know, but then right after it is calm, beautiful, you know, clears the air, and everything's pristine and beautiful again. So we have to realize there's so many different dimensions to who you are, and this femininity that we're talking about, that sometimes gets shut down and put into the closet. And it needs to be the closet and the abdomen needs to be open. And sunlight needs to shine in and see the beauty and the marvelousness of who we really are as feminine beings.

Luisa Valentin:

Yes. And like you say, once we're open, that door is open, and we continue to let that sunshine and as we nurture our own feminine, we get to again, grow and be our own souls evolution and make those connections with others that are healthy, happy relationships. And again, this is not just about romantic relationships, those family dynamics, those friendships, those work relationships, because we want harmony in all spaces of our life. And the more that we are in tune with our feminine selves, our feminine being, the more we can nurture that because we're nurturing ourselves while we're also nurturing those relationships.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Yes, very much so very much. So you know, all what you just said there is kind of the the pathway of being your best self. And that's what the soul wants is to be our best style. But as we're moving along in life's journey, so if you want to leave with our listeners with a thought or a comment or something unique that would be for them that to reflect on or contemplate around, what would it be

Luisa Valentin:

embrace your femininity because it is power. It is not just something to put on the backburner when you want to feel romantic. There's also so many things that you can do other than putting on makeup and a pink dress to be feminine. And if that is something that makes you feel good, go ahead for it. But it can be so much more. Surround yourself with empowering women that you look up to to create that safe space. Move your body because it removes that stagnant energy that we hold on to and it allows us to get into flow. And I'm a journalist so I will almost always suggest journaling. But journaling putting your thoughts and feelings and emotions out there on paper allows you to reflect back when you don't really know what's going on in your mind. putting it down on paper can really help.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Yeah, real all very nice things that that seekers can be able to do to help them to continue to embrace their femininity. So if They wanted to reach out to your with make contact with you, when we saw how could they get in contact with you?

Luisa Valentin:

Sure anybody who would like to work with me or for a no obligation transformation call just to have a chat. They can find me on my website, Luisa Valentin dot coach, and anyone who just wants to connect with me through social media. I'm on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn on at coaching with Luisa. So you can find me on either of those, any of those platforms?

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Excellent. Well, it's been a great conversation on something that I think is very valuable for seekers to think about for themselves and where they're at in their femininity for those who are female bodies, but also the femininity that exists in men and what that would look like for them as they're moving forward in their lives. Paths, I think in recept, for joining me on this part too. And hopefully, we will continue to have further connections in the future. Take care.

Luisa Valentin:

Thank you so much, everyone. I hope you all have a great day.

Luisa Valentin:

Dr. Judith Holder: Yes, enjoy the remainder of your day, wherever you may be. Bye.

Luisa Valentin:

Thank you for joining me for this episode on mastering life's adventures, being your best self through soul evolution. If you have enjoyed what you've heard today, I would be delighted if you would share this episode with others. Leave a thumbs up and subscribe to my Mastering life's adventures podcast. I look forward to your joining the next episode. Please leave any comments or suggestions you might have been long. Bye for now.