Barriers and Roadblocks to Soul Progress: #8 – Revolving Resentment | EP 043

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:00:06

Welcome to Mastering life's adventures, an educational podcast about tapping into your true self, the soul, your soul, the substance of your life, to discover what life's ups and downs are really about, and how to have a greater sense of purpose, peace, joy, and fulfillment. I'm Dr. Judith holder and your host, Coach psychologist Delos seeker, he enjoys diving into the connections between spirituality, psychology, wellness, and your everyday life's adventures. All comparing and polishing you like the fast is a magnificent diamond to be your best self. If you're craving more from your life, you are in the right place. Come let's journey together and transforming what you know, and to who you really are mastering mice adventures begins now.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:01:00

Hi, I'm back. And I want to talk, I continue to talk about garages that I talked about, as well in one of the episodes in terms of grumpy garages, when I began talking about in that episode about evolving resentment, and I think be evolving in that net require some more conversation, some more discussion and getting a better sense of resentment, and why it can have such a detrimental effect on social progress. What do you think about when you think about resentment? Some people would think about bitterness. Some people would think about this quality of injustice, that's been done. Some will think about it as a past insult or type of injury, emotional physical injury that has happened. That is that link can come in different packages. But have you thought about that how it relates to soul growth, how it may create a barrier, or a big roadblock to solve progress. When you think about resentment in these barriers, it first has to occur through an incident that has happened to ourselves or socially, or in some type of circumstance or situation that has taken place. And it has to have a quality to as I sit with the grumpy courageous, it does have a quality to feeling a sense of injustice, feeling a sense of not being recognized, heard, valued, appreciated, and it's occurred maybe consecutively for a period of time. That moves those graduates into deeper resentments is a mental rumination that can take place that because of those hurts, because of those painful situations that we revolve in, in our minds again, and again, and again, like a merry go round, it just goes on and on and on. And in this particular case, with America route, it builds up speed, and it goes faster and faster, and builds a groove. And that groove is similar to neural pathways, that there is firing down those neural pathways, and it has a natural way of moving now, those graduates and so those graduates continue to build that. And that ditch. Yes, I said, ditch her that neural pathway becomes deeper and deeper until it becomes automatic. So our resentment is we can carry resentment around with us. And it become so unknown to us on our unconscious to us, but other people may see it. That person is really bitter about that that person is really resent like gossip, this so whatever it may be, they see it. But we may not see it because it's just become a part of our fabric. And we really don't want resentment nor the grumpy grudges to be a part of our pattern either. We have to be the ones to start to be able to be more compassionate with ourselves as well as compassionate with other individuals, that people will do things to us sliders in particular ways. It is up to us to be able to look at our thoughts, look at our feelings and reactions. Observe them and begin to ask ourselves what would God want me to do in this situation? So how might I look at this from a different lens? What do I notice happening, then? It's hard for me to like, go off. And ponder that. And what makes it so hard to let go off? Because when we start asking ourselves the question, we start getting a sense of what might be happening for it to be so hard to be able to navigate in a different way, we start seeing things about ourselves that maybe we didn't see before. And this is all a part of the exploration, that happens that our soul wants us to be able to engage in. So that we are now reflecting. And in that process of reflecting, we're slowing things down enough to be able to realize, Oh, I see why I'm so resentful. I keep on thinking about this, I have this person made me feel this way. And how this person did this, and another person does something similar, and it now is accumulative, and is building up steam within me, and allowing it to build up that steam. Because usually, we don't know how to reduce the steam. We don't know how to change the gears, like in a stick shift car. never drove a stick shift car. And so you don't know what to do. And that's valid. That's valid. So with resentment, we're trying to be able to know what to do. We know how we feel. So you have to begin to observe when I'm moving towards resentment, use what I said in the last episode of grumpiness, and how it manifests itself as a bad mood, or as being more stubborn and unyielding. Or we're kind of in a cantankerous demeanor, and irritable. And when these qualities are happening, so refining they're manifesting themselves, then that's when we say some things, when we're getting angry about things, because that's one of the things undermine resentment if we get irritable and angry about things, and then we blow things out of proportion. That's another quality of understanding how we segment is showing up in our thoughts, our feelings, and our behaviors. And when we start feeling a sense of injustice, about something that has happened to us, and we say we let it go, but it keeps coming up for us as a reaction, then we know we've got more work to do. So we may let go of some of it. But where we need to work on is letting go of all of it. And when we began to walk on a spiritual path, we began to know that all testings and initiations that are coming our way. And like just like you're going to grade school, and you're going to elementary school, and you're going to high school, and you're going to graduate or trade school, they all have tests. And those tests are trying to teach us something.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:08:15

And the test has particular themes if you're a math class, or if you're a spelling class, or if you're in trigonometry. Or if you're a history, whatever the class is teaching us a theme that we need to look at for ourselves. But if we don't connect the dots to what is happening in our experience, then we see them as separate situations. But at an interim level at a subconscious level. That's not how our soul and our soul senses things. It seizes a conglomerate of energy that is either dense and weighing it down, or is energy of light that is increasing lightness within us. And understanding and opening us make us feel have a greater sense of freedom, and our thoughts and our expressions because we no longer have that resent fullness, that resent fullness quality, or attributes or density to access with us. And what we're working towards, is being observant like an eagle. And where we see any smattering or small components of resentment and even grudges happening in our world. Again, we have to be the one to say no, not on my watch. I will not allow this energy, this emotion, this thought to continue to occupy space within me. You get up you do something, an activity. You get up and you go to a bookshelf and you look at what book can you read that will be inspirational and allow you to have some guidance. You go to the Bible You go to something inspirational that you can read, you go to the internet and you pull up and you type in qualities of harmony or qualities of joyfulness. And you work on those qualities, or you type in the better yet, how might I forgive? Forgiveness type and in poetry on forgiveness, mantras, statements of forgiveness, of letting go. And letting God letting go of this old energy to charge occupies space within you, that is dampening down your soul. That is creating a hardness around your heart, you wanted to let that go. And you want to plant seeds, within you have harmony, a piece of understanding of goodwill towards others, just as much as we want goodwill towards shown towards us, we need to show goodwill towards others. Because the more that we can treat others the way we want to be treated, the more that it develops, that character within us, allows our souls to flourish. And I told a coaching client one time when she was saying that she hoped that her particular boss wouldn't be successful. And I asked her, and this is how we need to flip our thinking. Would you like that to happen to you? That someone didn't want you to be successful? She was oh, no, I won't buy that at all. I said, so why are you thinking that way towards this person? Because I don't like him. And I appreciate how he is and how he is I said, then him to him? You do you? You be your best self? You can't control him, certainly. But you can control your thoughts, your feelings, your reactions to him. So if you do not want a will, on you don't put an ill will energy on someone else. Does that make sense? We want to be treated in the way that is harmony. That's peace. That's good, that is enlightening. And if we want that for ourselves, that we need to make sure we're showing it towards others. So that we're mirroring it in the best way possible. And that helps our soul to grow and flourish. That helps us to be our best self. But many times we forget, and we live in a planet or forgetfulness. And we forget Oh yeah. So I was going to you know, be a better at doing letting go of things. But that person really hurt me. They, they they just, you know, stumped me and they said some things that, you know, really got my goat. And, you know, I there's no way I'm going to forget that or forgive them. It's like wait, wait, wait, would you say you're working on? Letting Go. Now allowing resentment to accumulate this, the soul needs for it to have its wings. And it needs to expand those wings and to fly and to be able to grow and advance. But the more that we build up that resentment, and that gift fulness the more we shrink our soul, we shrink our capacity to feel the wonders of the universe, the wonders of God, the wonders of experience in the here and now. You want to experience those things. One of the biggest things that has has happened on our planet. And I don't care what culture you're in. I don't care. Where you hail from, is we have a high rate of heart attacks. high rate of heart attacks, and there is a mind body connection. In that mind, body connection is how we think does impact the physiology of our body. How many of you believe that raise your hand. I think it does. And when we can be able to know that holding on to grudges and resentments. The bitterness, the irritations, the heart and feelings about things, the animosities the anger, or the person made me feel that way or the person made me do that thing. And as we know, people usually do not, and cannot make us do anything. We're doing it to ourselves. We've opened that drawbridge and put down the drawbridge for those thoughts, those feelings series of emotions that come across the moat and occupy our castle. And we have to be the ones to say, I can't do that anymore. That is not in my best interest. That is not helping me to flourish and to grow. That is only moving me to a my castle to harbor many ill feelings that I began as I mentioned at one point in time to you in the last episode and other episodes, that where we put our attention to is where our experience will be. So the first thing that we need to do to move past resentment is know when it's happening. Know how we feel when we're getting into our reset Falzon. Know how we feel what it feels like to get into the resentment zone. Is it bitterness, irritability? Is it the quality of grumpiness? Then the next thing we need to observe is, where do I notice it in my body, when I'm getting resentful, it's just not a mental thing. It actually has space within us. Some people will feel it in their stomach. Some people will feel it in their tightness in their shoulders. Sometimes people will feel that around their heart, this energy, this kind of dense energy surrounding their heart, holding their heart down, putting pressure on their heart. Some people will feel it in their chin, and the tightness in their chin. Some people may feel it in their neck. But it's like, what do I notice? So you have to be like an eagle, observing yourself and saying, Okay, I just noticed I was getting really sinful for this board this person's doing have they've done this for the past umpteen weeks. And I notice it here.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:17:27

Then once you notice it there, then you can be able to say I see how it manifest itself. In me, it manifests itself in my jaw, and around my heart, and in my shoulders. So when I start getting tense, and those areas with situations, or certain situations that are happening to me that relate to family members who can make us feel resentment, or our make us have low self confidence, which builds up resentment to us because of us not feeling good about ourselves, then we can be able to start to monitor that and just say, so the next thing that we need to do, the third is pivot. Now that we notice in our body, then we start to breathe in and breathe out. Jazz peace, harmony, goodwill, smiling to ourselves, and knowing and asking God to take command, asked your I Am Presence as online as your Creator asked Buddha, Christ to take command. Take a man of my mind, take a man of my heart. Take command of my being. Feel me with your peace. Feel me with your mind. Feel me with your harmony. We can ask for those things. occupy my mind, occupy my heart. You know, you can ask Jesus, you can ask Buddha. You can ask a saint to be with you. Because they've learned how to change the human condition. Intuitively divine experience a divine reality. They had to go through their suffering and pain. Now they can help us to go through our awkwardness, our resentments, our feelings of not been able to let go that bitterness. No, we say God you take it command, I shall not be moved. Lord God Almighty, Lord God, Buddha, Lord, Krishna, and Lord Rama, whatever deity of the Godhead that you would like to call to. Even less one friend and my said she likes Kali. You know, I like to be called Kali. You know you shouldn't Look up Collie. Find someone that's fine. I deity that you have an affinity to many people is Jesus. But we want them to help us and guide us. When we put our attention to Jesus, for example, we think about some of the wonderful things he did. We start reading about him in the Bible. Or in if it's not that, that it goes back to inspirational reading, to pulling down a book that inspires you, that puts a smile on your face. Where there is smile, where there is happiness, where there is contentment, that can't be resubmitted. We're asking the resentment to erase itself from us. And we're asking for God to take command of our minds, our hearts and our souls, so that we can be our best self. And in the process of our being our best self, we're lifting our vibration. We're lifting the cells and atoms within our being to spend at a higher vibration. despair at a higher vibration than at the density of where resentment resides. Remember what I said about resentment, that's where we will have that bitterness that irritation, the hard feelings, the animosity, the anger, the displeasure about someone or something that we feel was unfair. And we're asking our soul, substance, the substance of our life, to be able to transcend that, because it's not of the Divine is of the human nothingness. And we're here to transform our humaneness into the divine nature of God. Something to think about. Bye for now.