REAL Life Adventures in Living - Being Fully Present with Joy – Part I with Guest Richard Mead, LMT | EP 028

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:00:06

Welcome to Mastering life's adventures, an educational podcast about tapping into your true self, the soul, your soul, the substance of your life, to discover what life's ups and downs are really about, and how to have a greater sense of purpose, peace, joy, and fulfillment. I am Dr. Judith holder and your host, Coach psychologist Delos seeker, he enjoys diving into the connections between spirituality, psychology, wellness, and your everyday life's adventures. All comparing and polishing you like the fast is a magnificent diamond to be your best self. If you're craving more from your life, you are in the right place. Come let's journey together and transforming what you know, and to who you really are Mastering life's adventures begins now.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:01:01

Hi, this segment of our time together will be focused on real life adventures with Richard Mead, and those real life experiences that he has experienced on his journey. And I we want to hear from him and his thoughts about that. And so I want Richard to introduce himself, and then he'll turn it back over to me to begin our time together.

Richard Mead: 00:01:24

Good morning, Judith. It's a joy to be with you. Thank you for this opportunity.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:01:28

You're welcome.

Richard Mead: 00:01:30

So my name is Richard Mead. And I've done many things in my life. And at the present moment, I am retired. That being said, I was a massage therapist for over 35 years and had a beautiful steady clientele, where 80% of that clientele it ended up that we work together. For all that period of time, these people would have babies and I wouldn't be massaging them. And now they're in their 20s. So it's been it's been just very dynamic and very beautiful. And my life's experiences of going through the sense of the Phoenix Rising, where you go through your trials and tribulations. And I found constantly when I come out the other side of that the actual richness of while I just traverse through is becomes a pub and dynamic part of who I am. So you accumulate these precious pearls over, you know, 75 years. And it's phenomenal. So I came over to America in 19. Ended Australia, I've raised a family, two beautiful daughters. I've got five grandchildren and three great grandchildren in Australia. I came over here in 1984. And it's been a very great blessing to be in America. I did not expect this at all. But when I landed in Los Angeles, and my feet were actually on the land of America. I wept. And I went, and I wept. And I didn't didn't. It was it was amazing. I felt that I was home. I felt that I was home,

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:03:47

when you said that the thought that came to my mind was at the soul level is as if the soul knew it was in the right place. And it was weeping for joy. And it was weeping for the awareness that you have arrived at some level in your destiny in the direction that you are going to live your life in America and what all that meant. So our soul knows so much more of what all that means. And the outter only knows maybe exactly what you were saying. I wept. I mean, I've known all the wide web, but I know it was a weeping of joy, which is wonderful. And this gets into our topic that we want to talk about today. And that's around being truly are you present with joy. And that joy can look differently in different ways. And one of the things of your soul weeping, what's the joy of being here in the United States of America? With would you say that to be true?

Richard Mead: 00:04:47

Absolutely. Yes. Yes, absolutely. So that's who I am.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:04:55

Which is great. So one of the things that we're going to be talking about as we Talk about are you president with joy, he's gonna so look at this in three different analogies that I bring up when I talk with my guest. One is the cork and water. When do we need to flow through things and know that life and God and angels are holding us, the others a skateboard in life, maybe when we need to slow things down a little bit and look and observe and not fall off the skateboard, but look and absorb what we need to observe in order to learn the glasses that we're moving through. And the other analogy is the trampoline. Sometimes we need to be a trampoline, we need to bounce and we need to bounce higher, you see that in higher elevations to see what's really going on here at the lower elevation. So once we can see something higher, and allows us to learn what needs to learn at the soul level, and moves us to that next level. And maybe we tap the trampoline and bounce some more back to a higher level. But it's all a wonderful process that the soul goes through with many other ways in which he's trying to learn life lessons. And we're talking about joy with Richard. And my question to him is, what does join me to Richard

Richard Mead: 00:06:09

it to me, and that's my perception. Joy is always present, it's all around us. It's, it's as present as oxygen that we breathe. So when I see life suffering, we can either go that route, or we can be present, we can make a conscious choice. And this coming with simple practice, that would build a momentum on so that we can allow that joy to come into our hearts and our being into our soul, and not be going to sympathy or any other broad version like that in relation to what's happening around us. But to make the choice to go into empathy, the more we go into a higher vibration, we personally, we open ourselves, that joy flows into us. And we can give to the whoever's around us, that suffering, we sometimes to experience joy, it's a point of getting out of ourselves, and our own problem, or perception of that problem, and dv, all that to all those. The interesting thing is the statement that if I'm not receiving love, maybe it's because I'm not giving

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:07:50

you know, you're making a really wonderful point here. And it's a two points in terms of getting out of ourselves. In order to experience the experience joy, we need to let go of some of the pain hurt disappointments, traumas, challenges, and sometimes that's hard to do. But if we're looking for the higher good of what our soul evolution is about, then we're willing to figure out how to be able to do that. And one of the things that once you think about Richard, you figured out a way how to do that for yourself, based upon your ups and downs and mind, you would have been able to do that. And so I'd like to pursue that piece if it's okay with you. Because I think seekers would be really interested in saying what I'm down and out. It's hard to get out of myself.

Richard Mead: 00:08:38

Right. So a little bit, just a little bit of the background. My mother loved him when I was eight months old. My six year old sister did her best to keep me alive. And so for the 15 years of my life, life was very traumatic, and with with physical abuse, and even some sexual abuse. So it's I couldn't control that. That even at a tiny age, and moving through those 15 years, I found that I could I had control. A walk was within me. I didn't I didn't express that age in that way. But it was beautiful because it's like there's something there's there's something dynamic going on. For instance, there was a gentleman that was in our community. And I always spoke with him once at the age of 15. But I knew him on my life and we're never here He was walking down the street, evil would what was going on around me, he would look at me and wave. And I was filled with a sense of peace, tranquility. And I would suggest a little bit of a buoyancy of joy, even though it may have been difficult for me and my soul and what I was going through, to actually really accept that joy in its full expression into my being. And that was just profound to me that this gentleman had such an essence of peace, tranquility and joy, that just see him him, walk by me, changed, my perception changed, my attitude into rock was going on around me that I could not control, we can always control our own being would make the choice, left or right, etc. The other thing that I'd like to say here is I have a little thing that I do, I will draw a smiley face. Okay. And I do, just intuitively, I do one moment, the circle, the eyebrows, etc, the eyes and the mouth. And I suggest that we all have the Seven Dwarfs living inside of us. So I do that. And sometimes if I noticed someone at checkout, that is having a really hard day. Because the person behind the camera, I will draw that smiley face instead of citing my signature. And if I say to the person, all good, I'm not taking property home. My wife definitely doesn't like property. Yeah. So you do these little things that are spontaneous, you've got to have it in your pocket with you every moment of your day, because you never know when a curveball is going to be swung your way.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:12:22

Yeah, and we do have these curveballs. And so what you're saying is being able to have something and regardless of the other person that may and what they're doing, they may be grumpy. Or they may be anxious or nor is like you do something to counter that by putting that smiley face asking the seeker to be able to find out what are those things that bring joy to them internally that they can give to others in their interactions. Because what you were talking about earlier about this is very true to the soul is its vibration. Everything is vibration. So that gentleman you saw in Australia, walking down the road, who was a part of your life, when that first 15 years was actually sending out a vibration of calmness, a peace of harmony, that he was cultivating that and you picked up on it, which means that you have a very sensitive nature. And that is what the soul is, the soul has a very sensitive nature. And it's very important for us to protect ourselves. And also to be aware that that sense tivity is really a quality of intuition. Would you thoughts about that? Yeah, absolutely.

Richard Mead: 00:13:31

Absolutely. And the intuition or something like that, to pull us back on track and pull us back into the center of our heart is letting go as much as possible, of our thoughts, our thoughts control our feelings, feelings are our reactions, etc. So being able to move more into a space of being intuitive, allows us to get a better perception of the overall picture of what's happening while there are now.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:14:17

Yeah, it is as if you become fully present, which is, you know, part of this discussion, the an area within us has many dimensions in the heart that we don't we have rarely explored because we're so externally focus into the world a form that we miss the elements of the soul wants us to be anchored within our heart and in want to be anchored within our being and for us to be fully present and paying attention to it, to help it to grow and evolve and move through the different experiences that will go through from that point that you mentioned earlier. Richard is from a point of inner peace or inner joy. No, you have no control over some of the external things that happen to us.

Richard Mead: 00:14:58

Right exactly. I, I know that the and I've always had a sense of that, even though my parents didn't go to church, etc. So I didn't have that kind of a background, one of the important things is to just being present when we do that. And we've got to create these little tools in our toolbox. And practicing being present is one of those. So what can breathe, breathing is a wonderful thing, because we have to breathe anyhow. So. So we slow our breath down, and we make a conscious effort, we can actually step away from the situation, a beautiful practice is to say, Excuse me, please, I shall return momentarily. And you walk away, it's your choice to say they're in a vibration that is not respectful to you.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:16:08

Those are things like arguments or frustrations or people like getting along and people screaming and yelling at you or another person, that vibration is not acceptable. So I hear you're saying kind of, maybe take a moment and walk away from it to get recenter.

Richard Mead: 00:16:23

Right. And during that work and regroup, we can recenter work and make the choice to be present, while the most beautiful ways that I've found is, is the brain gym is a wonderful tool, and you can look that up on the internet, brain gym. And that's cooks, hookups, etc. And if you can do it if you've entered a private space where you can just do it. So

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:16:56

say some more about that brain gym. I mean, what is it that they can be able to do?

Richard Mead: 00:17:02

Right in June, is where your crush your feet. And if the left foot is over your right foot, then you put your left hand over your right hand clash between them in front of you. So the palms are facing each other. And then you roll it under. And lo and behold, your right hand is on top. And your left foot is on top. And it creates a beautiful figure about flow and allows the the chakras and those energy centers for us to become more congruent with and recenter. Refocus. And if you're inclined say a little prayer, even Judy oh,

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:17:59

oh. Which the arm is for the soul is the completeness of the wholeness and anchoring the soul into its physical form more and when you're how I'm interpreting the own act for soul level and for seekers.

Richard Mead: 00:18:19

And it's interesting, I have a little song I live in Montana up in the mountains of it's phenomenal. And so, oh, all Monterrey where the deer and the antelope play was seldom is a discouraging word. etc. So

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:18:47

this brings up the other piece about songs and the the benefit of a humming our singing, which also unites the harmony and that harmony internally also expresses what the soul is needing and feeling comforted.

Richard Mead: 00:19:04

Absolutely. And you will your churn your own frequency when you do the or song. Whatever it is, it depends on the situation, the circumstances and where you are at any given time.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:19:26

And that is for the seeker. One of the things that we should make mention of is chakras. And chakras are like the ganglionic nerve centers that exists within different aspects within the body itself. You can always look up more on that on the internet on chakras and realizing that there are pure color to chakras and some of the things that are on the internet are not X expressing the pure colors, what they really represent. But his talking about that aligning is a whole conversation in itself, which we can do at some point, certainly, but as we're talking about being present with joy. He's just giving you some little things at a soul level and at the outer level of yourself that you can be able to do in order to get that centeredness and being more fully present. One of the things you you have said, I'm wondering how slow talking about subject matter or being present with joy is one of the things you mentioned to me is your natural ability and innate ability to work with your hands, you know, very young with the stereo, he building a stereo innately. And then also, as he went into his adulthood in his 20s 30s 40s, he was really focused around large equipment, different experiences than now 10 and tie demand to be anchored greater and being present with joy, how that all came to be.

Richard Mead: 00:20:46

It was, it's interesting, because this thing, so we're can really explain, but we have a sense of something greater than ourselves. And even as a little child, I had with that sense. And as I walked through life, when I would say, Sure, I can do that. Then something magic happened. For instance, a next door neighbor, when I was quite young, brought over a radio that he had had, actually for years, and it wasn't working. And personally, I don't like manuals, I like to just put the manual aside. So I said to him, hey, I can fix that. And it's a Moreover, go ahead. Every time this happened, or a lot of the times, I really didn't outwardly know what I was doing, I just simply did in relation to vaping, or putting ourselves in that space. We open ourselves up to higher consciousness, we open up to a coin, where the divine consciousness from the universe can come into us, because they that be your mindset knows exactly what to do with that radio. And I had this happen many times where people would I got a little bit of a reputation where people would drop by, can you can you have a look at this and fix this. And of course, it works very well with my wife. It's, it countered. The other dynamics, like 90% of my life was literally chaos, just absolute, uncontrollable chaos. And all these nuances that occurred in between. It was beautiful, because it helped me hold on to something. deep core essence within my being that was necessary to survive.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:23:21

You know, that time into it as if the outer was in chaos. But something happened at the soul level, the inner was still centered in this innate wisdom that you tapped into, and being able to fix things that you were talking about. And it's as if sometimes we have to be aware as seekers, that our inner self is going through certain experiences for a reason that we may not always know why, but are also that inner cell has a sense of gifts and talents that are being given that sometimes we have look around, we look around sometimes actually, and it's maybe not looking around externally is looking around internally and see what you do naturally. That is a natural gift that you are able to tie into Richard that I think other speakers tie into, they just take for granted. And don't think about that. It is something that they can capitalize upon and utilize and what I mean capitalize it mean utilize it and accept it as gifts that's been given to you by your Creator.

Richard Mead: 00:24:27

Absolutely. At some point there's a choice to turn the dial of frequency joy, the be pulled down by the energy or raised up and the choices we make. We are affecting the situation and the surrounding around us. Is a very there's an A an old saying that relationships or friendships are like an elevator, they will either take you up, although take you down. So I encourage in order to nurture, and build and strengthen the sense of joy, a sense of hope. Those things that we can tap in, when we need it, like immediately it becomes there, because it's really hard to get our mind out of the way because the mind might be getting into a mode of fight or flight. So it's really important externally, even though this is where we control things, internally, is to make a concerted, conscious effort to choose your friends. And if something is toxic, in your environment, don't necessarily take it that it's yours. It may not be, it may not be yours, it may be someone else's thought or feeling or attitude about you. This goes on in the workplace, unfortunately, a lot. So that we can by saying, you know, even though I like this person, it's time to end the toxicity. It's time to make the choice to be who I am, in true essence. So it's very, it was it was one of the hardest choices in my life, when I made the choice to divorce, after nine years of marriage, and it was heart wrenching. And during that period, and then the next two years to follow, I wasn't at rock bottom, I was literally at the bottom of the rock. And it took it took the choices in the efforts if for instance, like I had to make a choice Am I like going to allow myself to stay under this rock or lifted off me? So I went to a year before that, I did a shiatsu medicine class, further education. And so I went over to that class, because I always knew he was looking for people to work on to show his class. And I stood at the door and they had a big smile on his face. The acupuncturist phenomenal man. And he does the five element theory. And he just waved like, come on in. So I went in, and he does post diagnosis. And normally, people would assess six palaces, just behind the thumb. And he he had the ability to assess 15 levels of pulse. So and then he he draws it on a pentagram and literally exposes edges exactly what's going on in consciousness right at that moment. So, after that was done

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:28:46

is that we can reach a good point. So was it in consciousness or a passionist plus the physical body what was taking place? So it was just in consciousness in terms of the Diag and 15 pulse diagnosis? Ron,

Richard Mead: 00:29:00

it was both okay. It was both the horn he was a made the choice not to hide. I made the choice that I was worthy enough to put myself in this situation in a class of 40 people that didn't know me and have everything exposed to these people about me at that moment. So says that I could be healed so that I could be home so that I could move on. Interestingly enough, in that situation, it took me a while, in a sense to build the courage to reflect because it was a it was a glimpse in that part of my life. It was a glimpse of here on that feeling worthy of feeling that I would survive this situation of being apart from my children and even my my wife at the time, because the overall very beautiful person, very deep person. So it can take a while if you're in a situation of morbid call, or if you're in a situation of grieving, or pain, something very deep. And one of the one of the lessons that I've learned is to be gentle on myself, when I'm in that situation, because it's very hard to think of a solution. It's very hard to think positively of what I need to do to move beyond this, and not be stalked. And so that was a very and that, interestingly enough, that's literally the only reason why I'm speaking to you right now. Because the entire class left, they did their thing on me. And then he, when they left, he smiled at me and said, Stay behind Richard, I'll. I'll rebalance your. So unbeknownst to me, there was one woman that stayed up and back in the classroom. He rebalanced me. I walked out the classroom. And she came out after me. And she said, Excuse me? And I was like, yes, yes. She said, How did you do that? And I said, How do I do? What? How did you allow yourself to be exposed to such depths? In front of all those people? I said, Well, ma'am, it was pretty easy. It was the only way up. They didn't know me. I didn't know them. And hopefully, they learned something proper. So it's just said, that was that was amazing that you're able to do that. She says, I'd like you to follow me home. And I'll make your lunch. And I said, Okay, so I follow the home, we developed a beautiful relationship. It very quickly turned into a spiritual relationship, because we're both divorced around, you know, she had been divorced three years, I'd been divorced two years. And it was a very, very dynamic situation, then, fast forward. After probably a year or so of that relationship. She said, I'm going to America. There's a conference over there that all wonder what tender you're coming. And I didn't have any money. At the time. I said, Well, what do you mean? Am I coming? Because I don't have any way of paying for the next morning, she put $5,000 in my bank account. She said, Are you coming? And as the well looks as if I am. So I came over here. And amazingly enough, the same situation in relation to heavy equipment. I was in the Commandos, which is like the Navy SEALs, etc. When I finished that career, it was like what do I do with my life because I didn't have any formal education. Or it's amazing that I ended up in that in that battalion. So I, we had a background on heavy equipment just a little bit to know that when we go in and do covert operations between behind enemy lines, we can use whatever's at hand to do what we have to do. And that would include a ball buzz, or or whatever. So I certified you know, as well these crash 40 hour courses, and I certified on heavy equipment. And I traveled around I got married to my first wife, we traveled around Australia, and to make a living, I do have a equipment, but I did not literally have a clue about how to operate it. Hardly anything. I had 40 hours of experience. And it was so funny, because once again, once again, I would go up and apply for the job. And he would point to the machine, sometimes huge. the brunt of it. Can you override that? They said Yeah, sure. I'll give me 15 minutes to get used to it. You know And, to me, and this is what I encourage all of the listeners to develop, and many of them have already developed. And they already have it, in their being is part of their essence, to draw on and strengthen from it. And that is, I would hook on the equipment. And it's almost like a higher level of being. And that was my own baby. In other words, my own presence, I am presents to came down and took over. And within 15 minutes, I had mastered that piece of equipment, and got the job. And I used to chuckle about it as like, oh, okay, I got to the point where I was the, the foreman, in relation to a rock quarry, and a an operator, etc. And it actually allowed me, you know, when we settled down, my wife got pregnant, we had to find a city to go through that was Adelaide, Australia. And we settled down, and I had sufficient confidence. And that's another point, having the confidence, so many of us lack the level of confidence that is rightfully ours, is rightfully ours, I say that because we have to claim it, we have to literally claim it in our own self worth. So I purchased I'll put the money out there and purchase some heavy equipment, and actually run my own business for for nine years. etc, I had an inner sense of trust, and faith. Faith is profound. That would allow me to move through all of those dynamics that I moved through, and the pain and the agony and the anguish combined, unnecessary to build the platform that is solid and firm, and have the tools that we need to grab onto and pull out about true box, whether it's across crawl, which is brain gym, whether it's grounding.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:37:33

Hi, Richard, I would like to just interrupt and stop for right now because I think you've shared a wealth of information that will be a benefit to our seekers listening about your life and how you've been going about to stay present with joy. And I would I like to do is have a part two to this conversation that gets into more of this whole area that you've had in your living of your 75 years of life of how you've evolved and cultivated staying present with joy. Thank you, Richard. Bye for now, everyone.