Mastering Life’s Living Adventures: Looking for Something More – Part I with Guest Bracha Goetz | EP 054

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:00:06

Welcome to Mastering life's adventures, an educational podcast about tapping into your true self, the soul, your soul, the substance of your life, to discover what life's ups and downs are really about, and how to have a greater sense of purpose, peace, joy, and fulfillment. I'm Dr. Judith holder and your host, Coach psychologist Delos seeker, he enjoys diving into the connections between spirituality, psychology, wellness, and your everyday life's adventures. All comparing and polishing you like the fast is a magnificent diamond to be your best self. If you're craving more from your life, you are in the right place. Come let's journey together and transforming what you know. And to who you really are mastering life's adventures begins now.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:01:01

Hi, I'm back with a special guest. And we're here to talk on searching in all the wrong places for something more searching in all the wrong places for something more, and I Bracha with me. And I'm going to ask her to introduce herself. And then we're going to dive in to the subject area.

Bracha Goetz: 00:01:21

Hi, I'm Bracha Goetz And I'm the author of 41 books that help children's souls to shine. That's what they all have in common. And I'm the author of a memoir about my my journey to joy, really in life, how I developed food addictions, how I healed from the food addictions, and how I was able to find joy in life.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:01:53

Excellent. And joy is the motor of life. And so, as we're talking about searching in all the wrong places for something more, and let's begin to talk about what happened. What When did you first know that you were in search of something more? Tell us a little bit more about that?

Bracha Goetz: 00:02:13

Yeah. I remember, I had a very sweet, loving childhood. When I turned 12. There were hormonal changes, like my body started changing. And my mind started changing. Everything expanded. And I began to wonder, seriously, it began at age 12, about the purpose of life, I would, I would start to think, and I kept it in the diary. So I know exactly what I was thinking. In fact, that's what became my memoir, what I put what I actually wrote down. So I'm writing at age 12. We wake up every day to go to work, to make money to buy food to go to work to make, what's it all for? What are we doing this for? I wasn't brought up in a spiritual kind of way. My parents were real sweet people. But there was nothing deeper. I didn't understand what's the purpose of all this. And even my older sister would say, Who cares? You know, what's the purpose, and I cared so much. I went searching in so many different ways. Of course, I didn't think my own religion offered any spiritual answers. I went searching in all different religions. I went environmentalism, social action, experimenting with drugs, relationships, you name it, I tried it. And eventually, I actually started doing very well in school, again, searching for wisdom, a desperate search for wisdom. So I ended up against my parents wishes, going to Harvard University, because I just started doing very well learning about everything. And yeah,

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:04:04

so before we move into that you there is something that you said that first and foremost, at the age of 12, you know, that the hormones start to release, you start to change, and you're in a different sphere. Now you're looking for something more, and some souls are actually knowing that they're on a quest. And some individuals are has a sensitivity to them, that they know they're searching for something more, they just don't know what Yeah, and they're still trying to live, live and do the different things they need to do. But 12 years old, is a significant time in in a child's life, and unknown, or unbeknownst to parents. Because at that 12 years mark, it is now you're moving to a different levels, like laying the foundation, the first 12 And then the second 12 You're actually laying a foundation of kinds of connections and wisdom and learning and that's why you're doing high school and you're involved in college and whatever else And then the next level you're moving into how do I love? How do I show appreciation in your 20s People get married, for example, in their 30s, they get married. It's that love component. So these cycles are laying the foundation and then moving into wisdom and then moving into love and cycling back through all that. It's something that happens that we don't know about. But the soul does. Wow, is aware that this is I need to get more wisdom, like you said, wow, to get more wisdom, you don't know why. Right? No, it's something that's important to you, to help you to move to the next level and yourself. Well, I know you're gonna talk about Harvard. So you can move into that. But do you have any comments about what I just said,

Bracha Goetz: 00:05:40

I love what you just said, that is so true. I was desperately searching for something I didn't even I didn't know what was missing. I had no idea. I didn't know I was a song. I didn't know I was a spiritual being. So I did not have any idea how to nourish that part of me. That was so hungry. But and what I was doing was searching for this wisdom that could, that could fill me up. It wasn't happening. Because what I didn't mention was that during those years, and this also appears in my diary, I'm gradually developing food addictions. So during this search, it was a gradual thing. But But I was learning a lot as a teenager, that it was so important to be thin. So I went on these diets, and I big, I got thinner. And it was like, wow, I became more attractive. It was like, Really, I saw the reaction right away. But I couldn't keep it up all the time. So when I wasn't having a restrictive diet, I was binging horribly, it was one or the other. And this increased through my teenage years into being at Harvard. At Harvard, this is so interesting. I actually became an expert on eating disordered behavior. Oh, my goodness, nobody realizing that I of course, was suffering. I have a feeling many people what they're experts in is something you know, they're suffering from themselves. But I was doing really groundbreaking research as an undergraduate, which is actually published in, in textbooks that are used in courses around the country. About why are some Why is our so many females anorexic? Why is this a problem? And I'm, I'm, I'm myself sufferings secretly, with these own problems. Oh, an interesting thing that happened in my search at Harvard. Through my boyfriend, I was invited to this very exclusive garden party, with the children have really famous people that everybody knows, and, and I'm like, wow, I felt like this is it, I have made it to the top of the mountain in life. This is I'm running away from my own heritage. And this is where I need to be this is it. You know, I've made it in life to success. And at this party, what I'm what I'm watching all the people, I'm noticing that they too, are looking for something more. They're looking beyond who they're talking to, for who else can I talk to, you know, they, they are not satisfied. They seem bored in life. And all of a sudden, I'm realizing this power, the wealth and the fame. I am getting to see it now. And it's it's, it's it's like the illusion is over. They're just regular people, and they're not any happier than anybody else.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:08:58

How important that you just said that, you know, to have power wealth, and to be able to have saying, Okay, that's a good thing that's still living in the world. But we think those are the things that are going to give us someone with something more, it's going to give us the it factor, that special factor that we think in somehow it will truly fill us up and make us have a sense of completion. But when you get to the top of that mountain of that fame, or of that wealth, or whatever it may be you realize what else what else? What else? Yes, it didn't quite feel the internal at the level that you thought it was going to give you the sense of satisfaction.

Bracha Goetz: 00:09:36

Exactly. Exactly. It didn't feel my soul. Exactly. And then God did something so amazing at the party on this beautiful day in May. Suddenly, the sky filled up with storm clouds and there was a huge thunderstorm. So the whole garden party got ruined. Everyone starts running for cover and I got so excited. And I said to myself, look at this, all these people, these powerful elite people, they can't stop the rain from coming down. They can't do that. It's like, there's something more I have proof. But I had no idea what was more. So actually, it was a turning point for me, I knew that what I had been trying to achieve was nothing. There was nothingness there, it wasn't worth striving for. But I was left with nothing, I still didn't know what was worth striving for. So actually, at that turning point, I was no longer trying to reach that type of success. But I, I felt a kind of sense of despair. Because again, I didn't know what to work on. And the eating disorder behavior got even worse. I graduated from Harvard, and I went on to medical school. Here I am studying to be a psychiatrist. That was my goal, and getting worse and worse, sicker and sicker myself. So that first year, I would say my behaviors became even more bizarre, all done in secret, nobody knew about it. until it reached such a point, that it was unbearable. It was taking up all my energy, and my intelligence, it was taking up my whole being, as an addiction does it, it puts you into a smaller and smaller prison, like the walls just close in. So I eventually went to speak to the psychiatrist that was counseling, the medical students. I met with him and this is really interesting. He was Japanese. And in other words, not from my own cultural background at all. And after I told him what I was experiencing, he said to me, you know, I think what you're missing is something spiritual. This is what it was fascinating to me. He said, I think when you explore your own heritage, you may find what you're looking for. It was the strangest thing to have him say that. And it gave me a really peaceful feeling to

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:12:21

wow. So he was attuned enough to know, as I was hearing and listening to your story, what the pieces of the puzzle or pieces of the puzzle was missing for you. And he anchored you into something that you were avoiding, which was your spiritual heritage that you did have for yourself. But even before that, no, actually, I'm gonna go to you, you you said something that is important. And that was it was unbearable. Yes. And that unbearable. This, you know, also is the weight that is on the soul? Yes, it is. It can be that density of energy that I talked about in one of the podcast, episodes that wait that is weighing us down. And the soul is struggling and wanting a breath of fresh air wanting you to not recognize me wanting you to be able to say, what's missing, can help me Can you guide me, it's like this in, you're talking to your inner self, because our inner self might be the call compels the answer. And so the once we begin to ask the question, ask it out loud, then ask the universe, show me guide me aid me, then you start having things come our way. And at some level asking, and that's why you went to the psychiatrist. Yeah. Not necessarily a part of this culture. But he was good enough to hear what it was. Yes,

Bracha Goetz: 00:13:47

exactly. He saw right into my soul. It was an amazing experience beyond all the bizarre behaviors I was describing, and I let everything out all my secrets, which was also a wonderful feeling to not have them all just stuck inside of me. Like you said, it feels like when you're in active addiction, it feels like the shackles are on you. You are you're chained and, and the prison walls are made up of your thoughts. That's what's so interesting. It's we we we hold the key to get out but we realize that it's incredible.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:14:27

So it's so true. We do is to our thoughts that we do have that puts one layer of not only shackles but put us in a prison, then what puts us deeper in the prisons are feelings. Yeah, the shame, the disappointment, shame, the fear about what this is going to mean and what other people are going to think about me and why they're going to say whatever. So we actually have a demo with a double whammy going on between our thoughts and our feelings. And that's what the ego does the ego when it's not appropriately in his place will give you these momentums of energies. A Well, you know, you can't share that, or you can't say that, or he will tell you, you got to do better than this person, you've got to make sure you are the best of the best. So what you're doing even though you're suffering inside, and because the ego always wants to be into the limelight, always wants to be out there and saying, Look at me, I'm doing a great job regardless of what's going on with me privately. But I'm doing a great job. And what actually we're working towards is a greater integration between your inner cell and your ourselves to be able to have some reconciliation to take place.

Bracha Goetz: 00:15:34

Beautiful, beautiful. I love how you explain that. That's so clear. I just think how God led me to this person, because it could have been a therapist that was not so keenly aware, and it could look right into my soul. It was. Yes, it's a big blessing. Exactly. Well, that summer, I had a six week break between my first and second year of medical school. I went to Israel, my homeland, I, I actually started learning about my own heritage. And it was absolutely transformational for me. I finally found the ancient wisdom that spoke to my soul. It was like a missing puzzle piece. That's what it felt like it. It was an incredible, like, right away. I remember I was sitting in classes, and I love to doodle and draw. And I would I, I was listening, but drawing, and I drew a picture of this creature jumping off the world screaming, yay. That's how it felt. You know, that's exactly how I felt like, actually, some of the words were in Hebrew. I didn't even understand everything at first. But I got, I got the most important meaning. And I, the other students were people like me, they were idealistic people searching for truth. I had before that I had like, sunk into a world of cynicism. And the world had turned gray. And marbles did not count to me anymore at all. It was not important. none of it mattered. And here, everything was returning and the world like the colors returned to the world. That's how it felt it was incredible. And there was one rabbi in particular that spoke about the purpose of life is to experience the greatest pleasure possible. And it sounds like why that sounds hedonistic. It then he would explain the greatest pleasures possible. What we're here for, is to experience soul pleasures to, to experience the pleasures that nourish our soul. Those are the lasting and greatest pleasures in life. So it it just, it got to me right away.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:17:59

That thought, because when you said the greatest pleasure in life, is experiencing those soul pleasures, and one of those soul pleasures is the journey, you know, a mastering your life's Avengers as you're moving along life's way, but also to that Christic that Jesus quality of the Buddha's quality or whatever, to reignite with that other aspect of the higher self, that the soul is on the journey towards so that you can have a greater sense of true completeness and true wholeness, because we start emulating, and being more Christ, like, more Buddhic, like, more, fill in the blank, like that is higher enough the goodness and love the essence, that we're bringing that energy, then we're moving into the physical, everyday life and everyday world and how we're interacting, we're being more those qualities or the pristine qualities that God wants for us, and we have within us, but we need to be able to buffer them up, you know, learn from life's experiences through that buffering.

Bracha Goetz: 00:19:00

Yes, totally. That's it, God blue the breath into us, our souls into us. And that's our essence. That is the energy that makes up our truest selves. So as we reconnect to that part, and realize that our bodies are just the covering for our souls, they're, they're here for us to interact in this world. Each interaction we have, like you say, it creates challenges for us, that helps to elevate ourselves. And we're here to experience that, you know, we have just a limited amount of time here on earth to do that, to to refine our souls, through all the experiences we have with our body interacting in this physical world.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:19:55

Yeah, yeah. And sometimes be to lose sight Are there because we go back and circle back around what you're saying about the fame and the fortune and then getting the right car and getting the right house and, and those things have its place, as I said earlier, but it's not the end all and be all. And that's why single Doom, people do move into what you said before about despair. Or they move into feeling overwhelmed, or they move into feeling anxious, or they move into feeling depressed. And because there's a soul level, the soul knows, there's got to be something more. Yeah, that's why we move into addictions, like you were saying in terms of eating addictions, or drug addictions, or alcohol addictions are fetishes, or whatever it may be that we move in those directions, because we're still wanting something more, and we're not trying Sure. And so it gives us temporary relief. But the key word is temporary.

Bracha Goetz: 00:20:51

Yes, temporary.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:20:53

Temporary relief is not the what the what the soul is really wanting is the is gotten to mark down by the ego and say, Oh, just do this, and just do that and get more of this and you know, have the diamond ring and have the the car that you want to reside in, you know, the Mercedes car that you wanted, or whatever, whatever. So this is where we are having to distinguish between who is really me? And what is the effect of things that are happening in my world? And am I moving myself on a course of being happier? My consent, more at ease, more peace, knowing that that's not going to be 24/7? Yes, absent ups and downs, you're gonna learn from it.

Bracha Goetz: 00:21:36

Right, but we never, I feel with the new understanding that I'm a soul. And I need I need nourishment for the soul throughout each day, just as we need physical nourishment. When I, I never run on empty anymore, ever since I was able to integrate that understanding. There's never that same sense of desperation that I had before. Because now I know how to bring more lasting pleasures into my life. And like you, like you were explaining the box of cookies, or the big container of ice cream, or the whole bag of potato chips. It never lasts long enough. It, it never fills that void. Because as we're eating it great, wonderful. I'm stuffing my face with this. And I'm feeling the immediate gratification. But when it's finished, when the bag is emptier and emptier than I ever was before I'm even the hole is even bigger than it was before I started. So once I could see that clearly. And once I knew how to fill my soul instead. That's how I was able to heal from the addictions. When we're in an addiction, we are trying desperately to fill it with externalities. But it's not a physical Hall. So it can't fill up that way. It is a spiritual home.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:23:15

Yeah. Tell me more about that. And what you found yourself were doing to help to dissolve that hole to have a greater sense of wholeness?

Bracha Goetz: 00:23:24

Yes, exactly. Well, this Rabbi who's no longer alive, Rabbi, no up Weinberg, he was a genius that taught based on ancient mystical wisdom, that there are five levels to the human soul. And there are five levels of pleasure. These correspond to each other. And what I was thinking about recently is it corresponds to our five fingers, because we have the power within our hands to bring pleasure into our life at any moment, spiritual pleasure, real lasting pleasure. Every single person has, has this ability. So I found the five levels of pleasure extremely helpful to me. Even if I ever feel like overeating, I think about them. And this is what helps me to recognize that there is no scarcity of pleasure. There is an abundance of ways to bring pleasure into our lives, because that's why we overeat or engage in other addictions, we feel there's a scarcity of pleasure in our lives right this moment. So we get stuck at just putting in the immediate gratification, but there's so many other ways to actually immediately bring pleasure into your life that can last much longer than the bag of potato chips. So the lowest level of pleasure are all the natural physical pleasures that God has created for us to experience In this world, because what God wants is for us to experience the greatest pleasure possible. He put us here to our job is one job. And that is to express gratitude, to enjoy with gratitude, all the gifts that have been designed here for us, God, God was everything God is everything God's infinite God, what I learned from the mystical wisdom is that God retracted himself in order to leave room for the other two exists the finite other because God's infinite. And so, with that finite other we can create a relationship then then then a relationship could be created otherwise, infinity can create relationship infinities, everything, so with that relationship, our job in that relationship to give to us, joy, we all we have to do is express gratitude, that is really our role here. So the lowest level, all the natural pleasures, the whole foods, nature, being in nature, enjoying it, exercise, moving our bodies, which are designed to move through gardening, swimming, dancing, yoga, whatever, whatever it brings joy, and music, all these natural pleasures, it there's so many, but the lowest level of the Soul is the part that's connected to the body. So when we experience joy, or those natural pleasures with our senses, when we experience them with gratitude, it uplifts both our body and our soul. That's, that's what we were meant to be doing here. So that's what changed. And the next level up is love. Now, how could love be completely empowering? It seems like it's dependent on someone else. But the love that we're describing here from ancient wisdom is focusing on the virtues of another. And so even in prison, a person could focus on a grandmother that once did a kindness, and be filled with this warm, emotional feeling that could bring encouragement to be a better person, you know. So love is available at any moment without another person being right there with you, you can bring love into your life. And higher than that is meaning doing something good, and positive and meaningful for the world. Giving back and gratitude. You see, each level up brings more connection because like you said, the the state of addiction or depression, anxiety, it's, it's a place where you're focused on yourself. Here, you focus on another natural thing, and another being and the wider community, you're helping someone. I was on another show where the the person said that he finished two slices of pizza. And he was plowing through the rest of the box of pizza or by himself, his his neighbor knocks on his door, he needs his help for two minutes, after he helps his neighbor, he doesn't need the rest of the pizza anymore. He puts the rest in the fridge he's filled up and doing something meaningful.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:28:31

Yeah, I love what you're saying about these different levels, and the natural level and that connection that we do have, then you're moving us to understand that the power of interest, not gratitude, but but love. But it's not love in it kind of in a relationship. But it's kind of a love and expansion way. And this is what the soul needs and needs to be loved as it is. And as it's growing. Evolving, you know, as well. And then also that meaningfulness and I think this is the piece that sometimes people don't realize the soul does have meaning the soul knows that he's on a quest to move forward to unite with his highest and glorious aspects. So the Christic light or the Buddhic light in order to be able to have that sense that okay likes the wedding between something higher than yourself, this wedding that goes on. And what you're really making mention of is, if we don't have meaning, then we flounder. Yes. And in the process of floundering, we go back into trying to think about what is this going to give it something to me or if this is going to give me meaning or that's going to give me meaning. There is an innate wisdom that you're talking about these Wisdom Teachings that, you know, gives you an understanding of what meaning really means. And what I'd like to do brockagh is to have a part two, and move on and talk about the other levels as we're moving up with our speakers, because I think this is meeting And then moving into part two talking about meaning, it will be very helpful to them to understand how this evolves and how we get a greater sense of wholeness and completeness, through what you're talking about in terms of these Wisdom Teachings. Does that sound good for you?

Bracha Goetz: 00:30:14

That's great. Beautiful. Thank you.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:30:17

So is there a comment that you would like to make? And you know, as we end this segment, and move into our part two?

Bracha Goetz: 00:30:24

Yeah. Those three levels are the most common levels that we we spend most of our time in on this earth. And the two higher levels that I want to explain about are more rare moments in life. But but we get glimpses of them in this world. Yes.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:30:43

Excellent. Excellent. And if the seekers of want to kind of reach out to you to get further information, or how could they reach out to you,

Bracha Goetz: 00:30:52

oh, my children have created a beautiful website, with all my books and lots of great stuff. It also contains, you can get free download a free copy of the pleasure ladder of what I'm describing right now, in more detail, and it's something you might want to put on your fridge or your cabinet to help you.

Dr. Judith Holder: 00:31:12

Yeah, excellent. Wow, this has been a really helpful conversation that we've been having. And looking at this whole issue and we're moving more deeply into is searching in all the wrong places for something more. And what we're talking about in this part two is what that more is, and how essential how it is important to in your everyday living and everything that you do, and every way in which you live, to be have a more wholeness, a greater sense of balance and completeness and a greater sense of pleasure and enjoyment in being who you really our which is being your best self each and every day. Bye for now.